Relative Something

*this* John W. Hays' take on things and experiences

Posts Tagged ‘feeling

Thankful

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Words on Images

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Written by johnwhays

January 31, 2018 at 7:00 am

Feeling Love

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In my lifetime, the art of feeling love has been a struggle to fully achieve. Luckily, I have had plenty of opportunity to practice. Most precious of all has been having Cynthia Ann Friswold around to repeatedly offer her guidance.

Quite frankly, some of that guidance comes across in a disguise that deftly pushes buttons that I’d rather not have pushed, but that’s part of the secret. Love isn’t always rainbows, flowers, and chocolate. True love is much more complex than that.

As a depressed person, I was distracted from being able to fully love. A combination of treatment for depression and couples therapy for our relationship was key to opening my eyes and my heart to love’s true potential.

Adding animals to our family has expanded my understanding of love to even greater depths.

Last evening, as I was holding our Buff Orpington hen while Cyndie worked diligently to remove globs of dried poop from the chicken’s tail feathers, I silently conveyed our love to the bird imprisoned by my grasp. Between a few isolated moments of flinching in discomfort, she generally rested her head against me and waited out the task.

We can hope she was able to tell our motives were pure.

Cyndie wanted me to offer the hen a red raspberry treat in reward for her patience of enduring the awkward procedure, but the Buff showed no interest. She just gave it the eye, with total detachment.

I had no idea that owning chickens might involve needing to bring them in out of the cold in the winter to wash and dry their butts. It’s a good thing they have gotten us to fall in love with them.

Owning horses is a whole ‘nother level of love.

Before our four Arabians had even arrived, back when we were having paddock fencing installed, a water line being buried, and a hay shed being built, the excavator arrived in his giant dump truck and chatted out his window with me at our first meeting. He asked what this project was about, and I told him my wife wants to get horses.

In a high-pitched voice of alarm, he exclaimed, “HORSES!?! It would be cheaper to get a new wife!”

Yes, there are costs to owning horses, but the rewards are pretty much immeasurable.

How do you measure love?

All I know for sure is, I’m feeling an awful lot of it in this latest phase of my life.

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Written by johnwhays

January 11, 2018 at 7:00 am

Touch

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I missed it
when some sort of chance
snuck past
silently
snow flakes falling
fearlessly
without even knowing
I reached out
through everything
that was nothing
hoping to touch
a mystery
to feel what it’s like
a perfect reality
that laughs
and loves
while I was thinking
simply
in a moment
I should have been
feeling

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Written by johnwhays

November 12, 2017 at 10:50 am

Feel It?

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dscn5158eThe sun set at 7:30 last night. The last two nights were chilly enough to require sleeping well-tucked under the covers. Change is upon us once again. We have color showing up in the trees. I was inspired to apply a new coat of waterproofing to my boots.

There is no doubt about what lies in store for us in the weeks ahead.

Shorter days and colder temperatures bring a shift in priorities. I need to start identifying items that shouldn’t freeze and moving them to safe storage.

It occurs to me now that I still haven’t fixed the winch on the Grizzly, which I will need for the snow plow blade this winter.

How’s that for living in the moment? I’m already thinking about snow season.

dscn5171eWhile I’m focused on the future, the sunny September weather is serving up some delicious days. It wasn’t lost on me yesterday, as I basked in the warm glowing sunshine with the cool gusts of wind.

Cyndie started the day working with clients in the arena space and later moved to the round pen. It had dried up wonderfully, allowing activities to proceed as intended.

This time of year is pretty dreamy around here, when it isn’t rainy. It’s my favorite.

At the same time, it tends to bring with it a feeling that the other shoe is about to drop.

I can feel it coming.

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Written by johnwhays

September 12, 2016 at 6:00 am

Vibration

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reaching
after a feeling
grasping
an idea
a sensation
vibration
both halting
and fleeting
forgotten
too often
it floats
ethereal
we remember
it is familiar
we know
when it shows
invisibly
flowing
up the spine
tingling so fine
wafting
divine

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Written by johnwhays

January 12, 2016 at 7:00 am