Relative Something

*this* John W. Hays' take on things and experiences

Different Sense

with 3 comments

I suppose this is related to the concept of “opposites attracting,” but living with someone who perceives the world differently from you has a way of complicating otherwise straightforward coexistence. Several times in the last week, Cyndie’s and my dramatically different abilities to sense smells has been made vividly obvious.

She brought a horse blanket into the house to be mended the other day. When I stepped inside after a day of work, I immediately commented, “It smells like a barn in here!”

She didn’t notice it.

Friday night, she put a pork roast in the slow cooker before going to bed, to let it simmer while we slept. The longer it cooked, the more intense was the appetite-triggering aroma that filled our home. When my slumber was interrupted by a full bladder in the wee hours of the morning, getting back to sleep amid that incredible smell, was like trying to go to sleep while someone continuously knocks on your door.

I couldn’t do it. Cyndie barely sensed the aroma.

There are other differences –or opposites– that tend to have greater significance. The way we process grief, and the intensity with which we experience it, is a particularly hefty one of late. The horses aren’t even gone yet, but the mental anguish over rehoming them started way back when the idea of doing so was first brought up.

The torment over their departure is deeper than just coming to grips with them no longer being here, it delves into the original vision that brought us to this land in the first place.

The difference in the way Cyndie and I perceive this whole development, and the varying degrees of processing our personal grief over it, can make for a difficult… life together.

It would be great for me if I could just deal with all of this my way, but then I would miss out on life lessons that are the gift of living in relationship with another person.

Cyndie and I got to where we are today, together. We intend to get to where we are going next, the very same way.

We’ll discover it together, even though she doesn’t smell half the things I do.

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3 Responses

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  1. The shoe is on the other foot here, John: Victoria is constantly telling me to get a shower and change. I’ll have to watch out as one of these days, I’ll end up in the washing machine along with my clothes:-)

    Ian Rowcliffe

    March 24, 2019 at 5:27 pm

    • Hah! Don’t mess around with hygiene…

      johnwhays

      March 24, 2019 at 6:37 pm

      • Well, all signs of being stressed out. We are lucky to have Stephanie to help us find a common middle way… she is very much our Saving Grace and her love of everything here makes sense of our endeavors. Is it too late for you to think of bringing in new capital and initiative in the form of a business partner/ couple?

        Ian Rowcliffe

        March 25, 2019 at 2:48 am


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