Posts Tagged ‘understanding’
Temporary Ripple
There has been a stressful ripple in the fabric of normalcy for our family recently. Out of respect for the privacy of all involved, I am choosing to be purposely vague, but I would like to provide some context that was otherwise missing from my narrations of late.
There is good news in that, other than some residual post traumatic stress that will take time to process, everyone involved is okay, and everyone impacted is on a path of recovery from a powerful dose of hyper-concern.
Yesterday morning, with Cyndie home from Florida, our children gathered at our house for much-needed hugs and a large dose of comfort-food for a brunch.
Trauma has absolutely no respect for time and place, and it does a person no good to live in a state of constant alert for potential threats, so the sudden unexpected rise of calamity is, well… traumatizing. Compounded in this case because the incident grew out of a well-intentioned effort to offer support for a friend in need.
I guess this falls under the adage of no good deed going unpunished.
One thing that our recent experience has reminded me of is this: We can’t always know, in fact, usually don’t know, what people around us have lived through. That person next to you on the plane may have just been to the emergency room before boarding. Or a police station. Or both.
Last week, on my way to work, I approached a sudden slowing of traffic and soon discovered a crash had just occurred. As my mind processed the visual while rolling past, it struck me that the final location and resulting damage to the van indicated it likely rolled before landing back on its wheels. There were still people inside, looking to be in shock.
I was traumatized remotely. One of my first reactions, upon arriving at work, was to tell someone about what I had seen. Talking helps to process the intense emotions of trauma.
At the same time, telling strangers of our personal traumas is not a reasonable practice. Therefore, it stands to reason that we shouldn’t expect that others are freely telling us of theirs.
We can all hope that everyone around us is always having a safe and healthy day, but don’t take for granted the possibility that things might be otherwise. Someone you find yourself interacting with may be using precious effort to maintain a veneer of normal, despite riding an unspoken residual wave of some uninvited drama.
Hope for the best, but be prepared for the alternatives. Always give people space to have unseen reasons for the way they behave.
Sending love in advance to others around us is a pretty safe balm for what might ail a person.
Thank you to all who have offered your love and support to contain this temporary ripple for our family. It is helping to guide us all back to our preferred calm tranquility.
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How
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that light
is too bright
especially at this time of night
I can feel my eyes
putting up a fight
with hopes of saving
some small shred of sight
despite the unwelcome fright
of seeing what just might
transpire
I cannot understand
how so many people
would knowingly raise their hand
in support of one particular man
who has demonstrated time and again
so many traits unpleasant
while he repeatedly fanned
flames of hate, fear, and banned
good sense or even
complete sentences of real plans
just a catch phrase or two
bullying braggadocio
rising on the worst
his cultivations rehearsed
to prey on some rabid thirst
void of real love and honesty
what remains is some kind of curse
how?
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Embrace Change
Is it possible to fully understand the vast number of worlds and details of lives to which we have, at best, limited exposure? Not that we are supposed to. How often are decisions made, despite an honest comprehension and acceptance of how little we are actually aware?
What can one individual really expect to grasp of the full range of issues and disciplines at play in the world? Let me see how many I can leave out by failing to mention…
Starting nowhere in particular, …medicine. Pharmacies. Hospitals, patient care, insurance, finance, facility maintenance, emergency management, legal advice, illegal gambling, addiction, recovery, psychiatry, academia, higher education, childhood education, reverse mortgages, home construction, plea bargaining, coupon shopping, fuel additives, auto sales, product placement, advertising, manufacturing, shipping, travel, cultural sensitivity, political ambitions, mathematical odds, gravitational waves, electron microscopes, archaeological mapping, district boundaries, city planning, manure management, religious zealotry, emotional manipulation, theater production, recording industry, music licensing, athletic training, team building, volunteerism, broadcast journalism, pain management, nutrition supplements, insulin, scar tissue, therapeutic massage, skin grafts.
Demolition, trucking, forest management, bear hunting, bird migration, traditional celebrations, sleep deprivation, common misconceptions, in-depth investigation, maintaining confidentiality, healthy intervention, interior decoration, retail product purchasing, industrial scale food production, buying fabric, spinning yarn, nailing crossbeams, laying foundations, paving highways, recognizing symptoms, healing psychological wounds, making amends, raising children, caring for elders, predicting the weather, creating complex spreadsheets, coding software, upgrading hardware, saving lost data, creating historical records, storing precious documents, managing a bank, growing wealth, affordable healthcare, establishing a fair tax.
Proper shoes for walking, insoles both firm and cushy, camping gear, college years, immigration, negotiation, land management, proper drainage, flood mitigation, product liability, instant gratification, adequate illumination, mineral rights, engine displacement, performance enhancing drugs, commercial sponsorship, codependent relationships, legal guardianship, adoption, acting, directing, angel investors, screenplay writing, sky writing, stunt flying, flight instruction, ground rules, ruling parties, parting ways, space exploration, deep-sea diving, grant writing, non-profit organizations, managing foundations, educating the masses, bullshit detection.
Historical re-enactments, religious interpretation, traditional hymns, learned behaviors, family bias, class divides, social acceptance, criminal negligence, healthy confrontation, anger management, pet care, pest control, toilet training, Oedipal complex, renal failure, clogged arteries, plugged drains, drain fields, debt manipulation, cosmetic dentistry, animal husbandry, oral history, re-framing history, flagging industries, recycling precious metals, fabricating complex machines, publishing magazines, controlling military spending, black-market weapons dealing, lifting economies, deep sea fishing, car racing, long distance putts, fire protection, lumber harvesting, crop raising, hospice care, librarian, business consulting, museum curation, sculpting, designing, choreography, judge, cook, baker, candlestick maker.
If you chose to read every last word of those paragraphs, you might consider serving in government somehow. I also think you’d make a good editor.
I shudder over the number of instances when I have heard political arguments or strong opinions expressed with fervent finality, when there are so many more pertinent details worth considering in the world than can realistically be included. No one person can know everything there is to know.
I feel like the general population of the United States is looking for a person who does know everything, when they think about electing a President. Others are just looking for a candidate who will constrain decisions to a narrow band of specific interests.
I’d prefer the kind of leadership that is allowed to be flexible enough to respond to the latest information available and make decisions based on a combination of historical reference and what is known now.
Since the world is constantly changing, it makes sense to me to embrace the change, rather than struggle in resistance against it.
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Relative Something 