Relative Something

*this* John W. Hays' take on things and experiences

Posts Tagged ‘memorial

Goodbye Prince

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RIP Prince

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Written by johnwhays

April 22, 2016 at 6:00 am

March 11th

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I had forgotten the significance of March 11, until one of my sisters emailed a note that our sister, Linda, would have turned 64 this year if she were still alive.

JohnHSGraduationLindaI have a precious picture of Linda standing with me at my high school graduation. The event was not a significant achievement in my family, and as such, treated as more of a formality. I was the 5th of 6 kids. By the time I reached the milestone which marks the completion of high school, it had already been done enough times in my family that it was old hat.
It surprised and thrilled me that Linda chose to attend. I think I recall my mom being there, but have no memory of anyone else from my family. Or, if they were there, they apparently didn’t hang around long enough to pose for a picture at the brief social mixing after the ceremony, and prior to us graduates being whisked off to a YMCA for an all-night party.
I had no idea back then that global climate would begin to change significantly in my life time, or that the processed food industry would discover a “bliss point” of added sweetener which they could use to alter virtually EVERYTHING they sell in order to increase consumption of their products.
I knew I didn’t want to go to college, because I had no idea what I wanted to study and was far too frugal to find a way to spend so much money on something so many others were doing “just because.”
I got a job in a record store, working full-time while living at home with my parents, saving my money for what might come next. Eventually, I chose a technical education, focusing on the electronics of the recording industry, because I didn’t have confidence in my ability to make a starving artist’s living off my songwriting or performing.
The focused education of the electronics tech school aligned surprising well with my way of thinking and opened up a new avenue for living wage earning potential in the manufacturing industry.
Many years down that road, I saw some similarities in the experiences of my sister, Linda, and her work at that time in the paper industry. We developed some common language of industrial production operations.
Then she developed leukemia. As a direct blood-type match, I became a stem cell donor for a brand new exploration into stem cells instead of bone marrow transplant. Days before the procedure, I got shots of a bone growth hormone to boost my production of cells to be harvested. That was weird.
Doctors told me it might make me feel achy, like having the flu. It was unlike any achiness I had experienced before. Instead of pain in my joints, it was the center mass of my largest bones that gnawed at me. I had never in my life felt sensations from my sternum, but that happens to be a significant bone mass, and mine hurt very noticeably.
Linda lived almost a year after the transplant, growing hair back that was more wavy than before. Everyone decided it came from me. When her white-cell count skyrocketed again, she chose to let nature take its course and we all supported her journey to an end.
I would love to have had her presence on Cyndie’s and my journey to the rural country with our horses, dog, and cat. I know how much she would have reveled in it, and that would have thrilled me like the day she came to my graduation ceremony.
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Written by johnwhays

March 12, 2016 at 7:00 am

Life Celebrated

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We are at the lake this morning, Labor Day Monday, and our daughter, Elysa, is at home to take care of our animals. It rained and rained here last night. I shudder to think about how much water washed through our paddocks at home. This is an abbreviated visit for me. Cyndie had come up on Saturday night to spend more time with her family. I hitched a ride up yesterday in time to attend an afternoon memorial service for Steve Schultz, a man who taught both Cyndie and me at Eden Prairie schools, and then later became a precious colleague of Cyndie’s when she took the job of principal at EP’s high school.

He had moved up to the Hayward area after retirement and became a volunteer at the regional theater and concert venue, the Park Theater, and that is where the celebration of his life was hosted. This being an out-of-town location for most folks, it was interesting to hear so many stories from the local people who only knew him in the later years of his life. In turn, they expressed how revealing it was to learn about the man’s earlier years.

In Hayward, he was coordinating singers and songwriters in performances at the theater, and no one there realized he had his own history of playing guitar, singing, and writing songs. More than one person said that if they had known, they would have gotten him up on that stage. Mr. Schultz was my teacher for an English elective, Poetry and Song, one year. It was a perfect match for both of us.

One aspect of the man that I appreciated learning about yesterday was his role with all his siblings. When I was an adolescent, looking at him strictly as being a school teacher of mine, I never thought about him in terms of having his own brothers and sisters. It really filled out my perspective of him as a whole person.

He was a special guy that I feel very lucky to have learned from and to have known.

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Written by johnwhays

September 1, 2014 at 10:10 am