Commute
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try to relax
for what reason do you need to go so fast
just listen
and give me a minute to finish my pass
I’ll get out of your way
and let you sprint
the short distance ahead
at your breakneck speed
so you can then wait
behind the next one in line
who can’t go any faster
than the person ahead of them
you’re a metaphor for life
showing me what I already know
yet still manage to forget
I can’t help myself assuming
you will be a giant pickup truck
my presence in your path
being one of your greatest frustrations
though I sail along
at a computer controlled constant pace
well beyond legal limits
navigating my own field of obstructions
decidedly more timid
than I
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Not Much
I moved the trail cam over the weekend and am not happy with the results. I wanted to try a more open area so there would be less branch clutter in the foreground of the view.
I chose the labyrinth garden.
I’m not sure why, but the result was picture after picture with no discernible activity. Over a hundred in two days.
Birds, maybe?
There were surprisingly few images during darkness. However, we did get a tiny glimpse of one animal that was conspicuously absent from all the images captured when we had the camera stationed on the trail in the woods…
Shy little bugger, she. That was all the further she moved into the field of view at 4:30 in the morning.
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Preventive Medicine
We have now received three diagnoses for what has possibly been killing our pine trees over the three years that we have lived here.
The first guy thought it might be related to spider mites. He offered to treat all our trees with over $1000 worth of insecticide.
The second guy became very alarmed over the visible damage from sap suckers. I am grateful that the second guy was at least thorough enough to have also taken needle samples back for further analysis and consultation with other experts.
We are feeling most confident with the follow-up diagnosis he came up with of a fungus. Given that we are not interested in applying toxins in hopes of treating our remaining trees, I have responded to advice from the arborist to give our remaining healthy trees plenty of food and water for the best chance going forward.
When he suggested giving them a good bedding, I pointed out that I have plenty of composting horse manure.
“That would be great for bedding.” he said.
Done.
Well, one done. Many to go.
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Horses Sense
The weather has been a little cantankerous lately, dishing out some horizontal precipitation in strong winds, with temperatures hovering uncomfortable close to the cold freeze-point. The kind of weather that a horse might not particularly appreciate.
I drove home from work on Thursday at a time between showers. The pavement was dry and the overcast sky looked less glum than the rest of the week. When I came over the hill to the first view of our place, there was no one in sight. Over the first rise of our driveway I discovered a distinct absence of horses.
Hmm. I whimsically asked myself if maybe Cyndie had sold them.
Why would they be inside the barn at this hour?
Sometimes the weather at home and the weather at work can be dramatically different, but all indications showed it to be equally dry. It occurred to me that the horses might be making up for the fact we had left them out the night before, when enough windy precipitation showed up that it exceeded their level of tolerance.
We had put them in the barn two nights ago, due to a cold rain, but Wednesday evening they were dry and seemed content with things, so I left them out. My sleep was disturbed later that night by the sound of blustery precipitation —I couldn’t tell if it was rain, sleet, or ice balls— hitting the bedroom window. My first thought was of the poor horses out there with their heads down, enduring the insult.
I asked Cyndie how they were in the morning and she reported a fairly normal routine and appearance. She said they weren’t necessarily dry, but they weren’t chilled-to-the-bone dripping wet, either.
At the same time, Cyndie did have a fascinating report to offer from that afternoon. She had left Delilah in the house and wandered down to be with the horses for the specific intent of listening to what they might have to offer. With a lot of concerns on her mind lately, she wanted to stand among the herd with no other cleaning or feeding agenda as distraction.
It was early in the afternoon, and like I described, not a bad day outside compared to the rest of the week. The message she got from the horses was insistent and unmistakable. They wanted to go inside their stalls. Now.
By the time I arrived home, it looked like nobody lived there. Cyndie was surprised they would ask to be inside so early, but gave them what they wanted.
A short time after I got home, the snow started flying. Sloppy, wet flakes that painted the deck with moisture. The kind of precipitation that a horse would probably be tired of enduring this week.
The kind of weather a horse would have enough sense to get out of if it had a barn for shelter.
All ours had to do was ask.
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Added Detail
A few days ago I wrote about the attempted fraud using my Wintervale credit card number, and how the bank had neglected to notify me. At the time I wrote that, I didn’t have all the facts. Well, I may have had some of them. I just forgot a pertinent detail.
Cyndie pointed out that she thought the bank did contact us, by way of her phone. She remembered it because she thought it weird at the time, that they called her to question use of my card.
She was visiting her parents in Florida when the call came, so she contacted me while I was at the day-job, a little confused over the details of the banks concern. She gave me a number to call, along with a case number for reference.
Given this additional detail, my fuzzy memory began to recollect snippets of the occasion. The fragments I dredged up led me to paint the picture thusly: I called and talked over the situation.
I do remember the feeling that nothing was amiss and my account was fine, which is probably why shortly after it happened, I forgot the call had even occurred.
Looking back now, it makes total sense that the problem I confirmed recently is related to that odd call in January.
Obviously, nothing was amiss with my account, except that my card wouldn’t work if I tried to use it. No transactions were ever approved, so I never saw anything suspicious on my monthly statements. Cyndie’s card continued to work just fine, and we carried on blissfully ignorant.
Yesterday, I received an email from an online forestry products retailer with this title: “Notice of Data Breach.”
Following an extensive eight week forensic examination, we have recently learned that the cyber attacks actually first occurred in December 2011. The forensic examination shows that beginning in December 2011, a person or persons without authorization accessed and possibly stole credit card information from our website belonging to our customers. The thief or thieves accessed our website remotely and overcame our firewall and security protections.
I did make a purchase at this site. This is where we bought our Swedish log splitter and a device that holds long branches for cutting logs with a chainsaw.
Their message went on to describe “…types of information stolen appears to include credit card numbers, cardholder names, CCV numbers, credit card expiration dates, addresses and phone numbers, email addresses, log- in and password” to their site.
Well, apparently they didn’t get my CCV number! That is why the multiple attempts didn’t go through, according to the person I spoke with at my bank.
I find it interesting that I was so quick to discount that anything was wrong back when I made the call in January to see why they were contacting us about our account. My Spidey sense™ was not tingling.
Maybe I wasn’t properly honed in on “the moment.”
Ya think?
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Revisiting: Reach Up
For no particular reason, but many non-particular ones, today I present a blast from the past Words on Images.
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Words on Images
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Wondering Aloud
Cyndie and I have recently found ourselves pondering the limitations of our ability to love someone out of their predicament. It gets downright frustrating to watch others destroy their own lives despite a wealth of loving family support desperately wanting to help.
Frustration Builds to Anger
I think part of the challenge for us is the struggle of overcoming anger that builds up in us from witnessing the neglect of self, and abuse of others, dished out by people in need who choose to ignore all common sense offers of assistance. By our own philosophy, we want to be sending a flood of love to all others, even if they are making us angry. That gets hard to do sometimes.
As a person who lived with a dysfunctional mindset of depression for many, many years, I recognize how self-focused a person with mental illness can become. I understand that the person with mental illness doesn’t logically perceive how much pain and sorrow they inflict on those who dearly love them, especially family. Heck, even if the message were to make it through, it could well be insufficient to inspire a change toward choosing to become healthy in response.
Yes, family seems to receive the brunt of our worst selves, even when they are the ones to whom we are most attached. Well, for that matter, even our own selves tend to become the target of our worst. That’s how these predicaments get started in the first place!
Cyndie and I understand that the only person we can change is ourselves. As a parent, it became one of the driving forces for me to want to become the healthiest I can be. I couldn’t force my children to love themselves and make healthy decisions, but I could make that a goal for myself. Doing so became an influence on my relationship with Cyndie. Our subsequent couples therapy and efforts to grow toward the healthiest possible relationship then imbued our household with that intentional energy.
I can’t say for sure that it is responsible for healthy choices our now grown children have demonstrated thus far in their lives, but I no longer see my past dysfunctional behaviors reflected back to me like I began to experience when they were young and I was ill.
Healthy Choice of Sending Love
The exercise that Cyndie and I talked about wanting to embrace last night is to emulate the confidence of our precious friend, Dunia, and not let our feelings of frustration and anger sidetrack our good intentions of wholeheartedly loving those dear to us who are not of a mind to love themselves. We want to send love with the fullest belief in the power of that love to make a healthy difference.
You see, doing so is an act of making us healthier. We can’t make others choose health. That is their responsibility. We can know we are honestly providing loving energy and by focusing on that, overcome the interference of frustration and anger over things we cannot control.
It doesn’t hurt to have a place like this blog where we can vent some extra frustration now and then. It allows us to let go of that which no longer serves and regain a balanced perspective in love.
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Too Common
This time of year we start to see the bountiful harvest of flies blooming around our manure factory, and it triggered our first order of the year from our online source for fly control supplies. I provided the card number for our Wintervale account that I used last year and the order was entered.
A week later I received an email and phone calls indicating that my card number wasn’t working. After checking that they had all the correct information, we decided the problem may be with our bank.
Last night I called our bank and learned my card had been placed on alarm status for possible fraud activity. The representative for my bank spoke so matter of factly about the situation that it occurred to me, this was normal activity from her perspective.
I was aghast! What!? When!?
Since I have been back at work for almost a year, I haven’t had much need to use the Wintervale account. I had been unaware of the unauthorized attempts to make expensive purchases in San Francisco in January. When the culprit wasn’t able to produce the correct code from the back of the card after multiple attempts, my bank was alert enough to suspend the card.
I’m not quite sure why they didn’t see a need to contact me about the situation.
Several more attempts were made at different locations for lesser amounts, continuing into February, all failures.
The only way I found out about it was that I finally attempted to use the card myself, and had to call to find out why it didn’t work anymore.
I guess credit card fraud is so common, the banks don’t even get riled up about it anymore. At least they are swift about disallowing questionable requests.
Maybe, since they don’t bother letting the card holder know about the situation, I should call them every month to ask if anyone other than me has tried to use my card. Especially if fraud is so common it is expected.
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Canine Visits
So much for using our trail cam to capture images of all the wildlife wandering our trails. Nothing but dogs this last time, traveling in pairs, even.
I have a whole new respect for what Delilah’s been sensing every time we walk our paths. I’m sure she is entirely aware of these scofflaws who regularly take advantage of our easy access to wherever the heck it is they are going.
There are 3 different dogs that have been making themselves at home on our trail at the southern edge of our property. I suspect that 2 of them are likely owned by a close neighbor. Driving past their place last week, I noticed a line of white flags across the front yard that looked a lot like the kind used to mark invisible fence installations.
Maybe they are working to keep the dogs off the road. Apparently they’ve left the back door toward our place wide open.
There’s no real harm done by their trespassing, but after all the fretting we have done over Delilah doing the same thing to others, it feels like they are getting away with something that they shouldn’t.
At least I now have a better idea of what Delilah is up to when she goes astray. I always figured she was chasing wildlife, or neighboring livestock. Now I suspect she is probably trailing along on the route of other dogs, returning the favor of marking each other’s passage.
I have no idea what this guy is carrying. It looks like a big branch, but it brings to mind the mysterious frozen cow’s leg we found laying in the middle of the trail down in that area last winter. It gives me new insight into how it could have possibly gotten to where it was that we stumbled upon it.
Other than the weekend we had two strange dogs show up by the house last fall, we haven’t been aware of how many and how often we have had uninvited canine visitors.
There have been tracks visible on occasion, but we weren’t quite sure whether it was coyotes or domestic dogs leaving the impressions. From now on I will be much more inclined to suspect stealthy dogs are the ones cuttin’ through.
At least, until our trail cam proves something different.
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