Relative Something

*this* John W. Hays' take on things and experiences

Not Easy

with 7 comments

It’s not easy to write about moving our horses… There are a lot of emotions built up regarding the next change in store. After weeks of consideration, Cyndie and I recently decided we need to find another home for Dezirea, Cayenne, and Hunter.

Last week, we learned that the previous owners of the herd are willing to accept the horses back, and we have now begun the process of detailing the specifics involved. Although an actual date of transfer is yet to be determined, just verbalizing the idea, and now having the outcome decided, has already triggered powerful emotions for both of us.

The horses are such an integral part of our lives that we struggle to imagine what it will be like after they are gone. We are each looking forward to regaining a little of our independence again, but it remains to be seen whether we will stay on this property for long without them.

I’ve been mentally revisiting the day the horses arrived here back in September of 2013. That was a pinnacle of thrills that barely compares with any other in my life, except maybe the day Cyndie and I got married. The ensuing years have included more incredible experiences than I can count, having gone from zero experience owning horses, to developing intimate knowledge of our herd.

They have definitely provided me with plenty of things to write about over the years.

Yesterday, while I was tending to the cleanup detail near their evening feeding time, Dezirea suddenly laid down and rolled around in her blanket. By the time I got around to thinking it would have been a good photo, she was already back on her feet.

Then Hunter walked over to the same spot and started pawing the ground. I knew he was going to lay down as well, so this time I scrambled to dig out my pocket camera. In my haste to capture him while he was upside down, I accidentally pushed the power button to turn the camera off again.

By the time I got it back on, he was upright.

It is going to be incredibly difficult to adjust to no longer having them live with us.

Horses have a powerful energy, and I don’t think we will ever be able to replace it.



Written by johnwhays

March 7, 2019 at 7:00 am

7 Responses

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  1. My father told me, some years ago, that the best course of action would be to ‘get rid of’ our horses, but here I am with them despite that. Your conclusion says it all … that said, even the man who would become Buddha was confronted with this choice and he went onto project an enlightened form of harmony in the world. The horses will always be a part of you… in fact, I think the yoga mindset is their gift to the world – probably one of the greatest inventions of all time – and something that may yet save us.

    Ian Rowcliffe

    March 7, 2019 at 8:34 am

    • One precious gift already offered to us was the invitation to always know we are welcome to visit the horses in their other home. They are definitely a permanent part of us now. I have learned much from discovering equine wisdom. A priceless expansion of my understanding of the unseen energy that connects us all.


      March 7, 2019 at 8:51 am

  2. I’m trying to think of what to say, but find no words. I cannot feel your pain as I’ve never taken on such a major life commitment and tried to let it go. I can only let you know I love that I’ve been able to share your journey through your eyes and my visits. Love to you guys-😢🥰💕


    March 7, 2019 at 8:09 am

    • Thank you. It is really hard to know what to say. There are a lot of ways to look at this situation, and each way brings a different reaction. Sometimes it feels right, but it also feels so wrong. Thank you for the love and support!!


      March 7, 2019 at 8:22 am

      • As a clever lady once said, we grow not only through choices but being aware that we are making them. And that is where the essence of life and living is. And so you can not only ride the waves of existence but even steer a direction, realising the infinite bliss of each moment. Oh what fun it is…

        Ian Rowcliffe

        March 7, 2019 at 9:50 am

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