Relative Something

*this* John W. Hays' take on things and experiences

The Thing

with 6 comments

The thing about depression is that it can be so amorphous. There are no clearly defined borders where it begins and ends. If one develops a runny nose, is it a cold or just a runny nose?

When I start feeling less than my best self, is it a bout of depression, or just the equivalent of a “runny nose?”

There is also a chicken and egg type question of which comes first. Do I feel low because depression is coming on, or is depression coming on because I feel low?

On top of those basic questions, there is the added complication of framing the situation as productive, or not. Is doing very little more than passing time a waste, or a valuable break from the rat race?

So many questions with no simple answer. What I know right now is, I have been noticeably under achieving this weekend. I have chosen to frame it in the positive. I have allowed myself a respite from doing significant chores and I won’t be moping that it was a negative.

In fact, this morning I am feeling significantly accomplished for the brilliant use of the available unscripted hours this weekend.

Now that’s my thing.



Written by johnwhays

November 26, 2017 at 9:59 am

6 Responses

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  1. I know I am late responding to this…but I just wanted to tell you that I understand this feeling completely. I used to get very upset by it…now I try to just be in the moment…whatever moment it happens to be and to not pass judgment but rather LET IT BE! Hope you are well!


    December 30, 2017 at 9:10 am

  2. Maybe there are just those days. I felt unproductive yesterday, as things on my list sat undone, a few I tackled were not done well, and couldn’t quite focus on what I should do… So, I went downstairs and worked on my puzzle and soon felt quite productive for the moment. Just one of those days.


    November 27, 2017 at 7:34 am

    • I’m thinking there may be a seasonal component to this. I tried doing a woodworking art project, and made very pleasing progress, but at the same time, felt somewhat hollow.
      Happily, the next day was much more productive for me!


      November 27, 2017 at 9:16 am

  3. I often wonder about my lack of ambition. Sometimes I see lack of ambition as a fault and sometimes just who I am. I certainly enjoy accomplishing tasks but certainly do not enjoy feeling compelled to complete task. I wonder if I’m just lazy or am I just relaxed and happy with what is.

    Jim Parker (@drjparker)

    November 26, 2017 at 10:16 am

    • Here’s to “happy with what is.” Especially, when framing it in a healthy way!
      Thank you for adding your perspective, Jim. I sense we would make good comrades in a spell of sitting together to watch the natural world of either, or both of our properties.


      November 26, 2017 at 10:29 am

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