Relative Something

*this* John W. Hays’ take on things and experiences

The Thing

with 6 comments

The thing about depression is that it can be so amorphous. There are no clearly defined borders where it begins and ends. If one develops a runny nose, is it a cold or just a runny nose?

When I start feeling less than my best self, is it a bout of depression, or just the equivalent of a “runny nose?”

There is also a chicken and egg type question of which comes first. Do I feel low because depression is coming on, or is depression coming on because I feel low?

On top of those basic questions, there is the added complication of framing the situation as productive, or not. Is doing very little more than passing time a waste, or a valuable break from the rat race?

So many questions with no simple answer. What I know right now is, I have been noticeably under achieving this weekend. I have chosen to frame it in the positive. I have allowed myself a respite from doing significant chores and I won’t be moping that it was a negative.

In fact, this morning I am feeling significantly accomplished for the brilliant use of the available unscripted hours this weekend.

Now that’s my thing.

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Written by johnwhays

November 26, 2017 at 9:59 am

6 Responses

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  1. I know I am late responding to this…but I just wanted to tell you that I understand this feeling completely. I used to get very upset by it…now I try to just be in the moment…whatever moment it happens to be and to not pass judgment but rather LET IT BE! Hope you are well!

    lorriebowden

    December 30, 2017 at 9:10 am

  2. Maybe there are just those days. I felt unproductive yesterday, as things on my list sat undone, a few I tackled were not done well, and couldn’t quite focus on what I should do… So, I went downstairs and worked on my puzzle and soon felt quite productive for the moment. Just one of those days.

    Mary

    November 27, 2017 at 7:34 am

    • I’m thinking there may be a seasonal component to this. I tried doing a woodworking art project, and made very pleasing progress, but at the same time, felt somewhat hollow.
      Happily, the next day was much more productive for me!

      johnwhays

      November 27, 2017 at 9:16 am

  3. I often wonder about my lack of ambition. Sometimes I see lack of ambition as a fault and sometimes just who I am. I certainly enjoy accomplishing tasks but certainly do not enjoy feeling compelled to complete task. I wonder if I’m just lazy or am I just relaxed and happy with what is.

    Jim Parker (@drjparker)

    November 26, 2017 at 10:16 am

    • Here’s to “happy with what is.” Especially, when framing it in a healthy way!
      Thank you for adding your perspective, Jim. I sense we would make good comrades in a spell of sitting together to watch the natural world of either, or both of our properties.

      johnwhays

      November 26, 2017 at 10:29 am


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