Relative Something

*this* John W. Hays’ take on things and experiences

Soul Collages

with 6 comments

On Saturday, our friend Julie came over, despite the frigid outdoor temperatures. We were able to go for a short walk and then visited the horses twice, but the majority of time was spent indoors. Spontaneous inspired conversation blossomed and we soon found ourselves watching a prized “TED talk” video of Brené Brown giving her Power of Vulnerability speech. If you have never watched/listened to this talk, I hope you will find a way to claim 20 minutes and click the link. I can’t recommend it highly enough.

The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn’t talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating — as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, “I love you” first…”

DSCN2854eLater, Cyndie was thrilled for the opportunity to go into the basement and pull out her extensive collection of crafting resources in order for us to make individual soul collages. We were in a mode of being mindful and in the moment, and this was an exercise in creating a collage that captures and reflects messages both from and for our soul.

Delilah was so thrilled with Julie’s presence, she made every effort to be near her. You can see in this image that she had laid down to nap, making sure to hold a paw in contact with the tray Julie was using.


We shared a couple meals of great food and strengthened our bonds of precious positive energy and inspirations. In what felt like just a blink of an eye, evening arrived and our day with Julie was over.

Now, two days later, what is lingering with me from the day is having been able to again re-watch Brené Brown’s message. There is a good portion of it that resonates with the depressive tendencies in me.

It’s too good not to include an additional excerpt, but please, if you at all can, do watch her give this talk. She describes her research with wonderful humor and the insights she uncovers are valuable and revealing.

We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb cannot selectively numb emotion. You can’t say, here’s the bad stuff. Here’s vulnerability, here’s grief, here’s shame, here’s fear, here’s disappointment. I don’t want to feel these… You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness. And then we are miserable…”

Here’s to embracing our vulnerability, and to sending love into the world with our whole hearts, despite a lack of any guarantees.

Thanks, Julie, for blessing us with your presence for the day! We love you!










Written by johnwhays

February 16, 2015 at 7:00 am

6 Responses

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  1. John and Cyndie, What a beautiful time I had with both of you, Delilah and the horses. Cayenne is my buddy, too! You were all a gift to me as well. I love you both! 🙂

    Julie Kuberski

    February 16, 2015 at 8:58 pm

  2. Thanks for this. Great reminder.


    February 16, 2015 at 12:25 pm

  3. Just looking at the BB talk again and thinking about her conclusion, “I’m enough.” That is not true: the truth is that each of us is ‘more than enough’. Each of us carries a special unique gift that is transcending. And I would add, that it is not just something about being a human being. We know that each horse carries it, the song bird that we chance to hear, the delicate unfolding of a plant or tree that is a new representation of the moment, the here and now – each little things speaks to us of the immensity and beauty that we are so lucky to be a part of. And I have been lucky enough to meet someone who can simply reposition stones to express this, to trigger this very insight. Sending a big hug to you, John.

    Ian Rowcliffe

    February 16, 2015 at 9:19 am

    • How ’bout we call it, “true” but short of the ultimate truth. As always, your insights are thrillingly wise and precious. Thank you, infinitely, for all you are and share. I am pausing to luxuriate in the sensation of a big hug with you, my friend. My brother in the special unique gifts that transcend!


      February 16, 2015 at 10:49 am

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