Knowing Better
I do know better, but that doesn’t guarantee success. It is a struggle to resist the dreary weight of “shoulds” and myriad other potential hazards that lurk in the mind of a person with propensities like mine. (See Dysthymia.)
Luckily, knowing better is a very important early step toward optimal health. One of the best things that ever happened for me was having my affliction identified, and then being taught skills for responding to it.
With our new home and property, there are so many things we want to address, it is a challenge to make any sense of it. I feel a bit like I’m in a losing game of “Whac-a-Mole” (a game which, ironically, is based on a situation we are literally needing to deal with here).
I find myself able to chip away at one project until it gets dark, or I run out of time, or I arrive at a problem without immediate solution. Then a new day brings new demands and the previous project lands on the back burner. Who knows when I will get back to that one. Something new will pop up tomorrow!
Now, the Christmas season is near, and a whole new set of make-work projects show up. It troubles me to see the energy that could be put toward our “to-do” list, now going toward decorating this place like it is some sort of holiday show room. Look at that: I’ve become a Scrooge.
I know better than to focus on the dreary perspective. Most people would think the house looks beautiful, and it makes Cyndie so very happy.
Plus, it gives the cats something new to wreck! Oops. See, there I go again. Darn that doom and gloom.
I actually heard a holiday song on the radio yesterday during my drive home that sounded great and made me happy. The reason it sounded great was because it was fresh. I had not heard this song for almost a year. Unfortunately, it is not even December yet. By the time I hear this song again for the 3rd or 4th time, I will be sick of it.
We think the holidays are so fun, it is logical to extend the season as much as possible. Of course, the marketers are all in for that idea, and do everything they can to elongate the duration of a gift-shopping season. In so doing, we have created our own monster. It wasn’t good enough to leave the Christmas season the way it was in years past. It has been stretched into something annoying. You’d think it was a political campaign. What a shame it is that we allow our favorite holiday songs to become annoyances.
They used to be special, because they were heard rarely, for a precious occasion. Over-playing songs diminishes the pleasure of them.
You’d think we would know better.
Relative Something 
Re:the dreary perspective – the wonderful community that you are both building, which is going to be your safety net and source of strength and resilience in the times to come. It is the solution to NOT being left alone with your, otherwise, never-ending to-do list. So once again, a slip of the pen – you meant, ‘endearing perspective’. That said, I have never managed that part myself, so you are incredibly lucky and I would encourage you to do everything possible to promote it.
Ian Rowcliffe
November 30, 2012 at 6:41 pm
We are SO so lucky. There is so much potential here, I think my tendency for dreary will be buried by the abundance of “endearing” that pervades every inch of this place.
johnwhays
December 1, 2012 at 6:42 pm
Indeed, yes, John…. I often think of this thing that you describe as ‘Dysthymia. … have you ever thought of it as a blessing, for you are someone who knows the darkness but has the gift of re-arranging a couple of stones to reveal the divine wondrous sense of being. That is a gift that you are about to multiply a thousand fold… with a little help from the horses. And a gift that so many are about to benefit from… don’t you ever doubt that!
Ian Rowcliffe
December 2, 2012 at 9:24 am
Ian, that is a very precious perspective. I am going to re-frame the dysthymia as a blessing in the manner you describe. Thank you!
johnwhays
December 2, 2012 at 4:47 pm