Thinking Both
There are days when the urge to do something creative is incredibly powerful, but those times can often manifest for me in something of a paralysis of action. It is an interesting conundrum. However, that is very different from the times when there is simply nothing in the way of inspiration to draw from. Unmotivated, unemotional void. It can be a very peaceful state of mind, unless it occurs at a time when creative production is the goal. That can ultimately result in an increase of angst.
I believe that one very pure antidote for either of these situations will involve a relationship with horses. It is intriguing for me, since I have had very little in the way of interaction with horses for the great majority of my life. The precious days I had the benefit of being with Ian Rowcliffe and their horses in Portugal, are proving to be increasingly special to me, in light of the dream that has developed for Cyndie and me to create our own similar situation in Minnesota.
This all becomes even more convoluted with the unplanned job offer that Cyndie has accepted in Boston. You just never know what is around the corner.
I am growing more able to be “both/and” in my acceptance of what the universe presents for me. It is allowing me to feel comfortable with both the possibility of Cyndie’s and my dream, and the reality that will have us separated for a big chunk of the near future.
Relative Something 
Wow, and wow! Priceless words, thrilling to read, from a priceless friend. I can’t thank you enough, Ian, for your offerings here. This nurtures my soul beyond my imaginings!
johnwhays
October 14, 2011 at 8:27 am
That is exactly the horse’s gift, John. There are few horses in the world that have never come in contact with man, and so they have a strong propensity to tune in and, in fact, have grown with us. Similarly, it is very unlikely that your forefathers weren’t integrally connected to horses. Man, too, was changed fundamentally by the horse. Rubert Isaacson calls it having the horse gene, but it is very likely that we ALL have it, which explains how someone like me, with virtually no connection with horses, can suddenly find I have a ‘gift’ for communicating with them. The more you are in contact with horses, the more you will be aware of an inner sense of coming home. By the way, you may like to watch a youtube about RI – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7GHzselNmA – it is heart warming, the result of a situation that looked as if it might tear his family apart.
Ian Rowcliffe
October 14, 2011 at 9:14 am
Sometime back, my father who reminds me of you in so many ways, John, told me to sell the horses. The reason: horses are children that never grow up. Of course, he didn’t realize that that is exactly the reason for loving them. Indeed, they will demand and need all your time and energy just as children do. But there is an exchange. The children that they are draw out the child in you so that although you may age on the outside, your inner child lives and interacts with them, dancing with life every moment you live the unfolding adventure. It is more than a fair exchange, I think. You will resonate with the eternal child all the days of your life.
Like you, this is all relatively new to me, but I learned recently that a family working with horses, has some sort of united take on life. For example, Diogo, Patricia’s friend and ‘our’ horse whisperer, paints pictures together with various generations of the family. They take turns in painting the ‘same’ picture. That is a powerful family vision crossing generations – a lost vision for most of us today.
That said, our society doesn’t look very favorably on the ‘child that never grows up’ – he is a burden demanding inhuman sacrifices, it is thought. Better to be free to live an untethered life, it is argued. So, in the end, it depends whether you want to be free or connected. It is that simple. Think back to the demands your own children placed on you and know that these children will continue to need you all the days of your life. For some, that is a curse; for others it is a blessing beyond our wildest dreams – like a new-born foal frolicking in a meadow. And this foal will grow, will you have the calm to ride the night mare through into a New Era? Nobody knows whether it is possible but, maybe, we can do it together…
So the times without Cyndie are a test of your resolve for the future journey together with the horses. Yes, what a paradox!
Ian Rowcliffe
October 13, 2011 at 4:06 pm
I completely relate to the thinking that horses are children that never grow up. I believe I will do well with that, since I haven’t lost much of my inner child over the years.
Ian, thank you very much for this. It is very precious and means much to me.
johnwhays
October 13, 2011 at 8:11 pm
John – you have an amazing opportunity to use the time you have available now to check out the logistics of the horse farms. Talk to as many owners as you can and make sure you go back more than once – the second trip will give you the added perspective you need to discover. Besides, I am sure they will be very pleased to exchange ideas with any potential buyer. And, of course, even if you don’t buy their farms, you might be interested in their horses. Furthermore, they will find your interest helps them to re-access and appreciate their own work, too. Actually, knowing nothing is a great place to begin as that permits you to ask the simplest of question – like what do the horses eat in winter?
Clearly, you can imagine what some of the problems are – rising costs in relation to oil prices just about affect everything. Secondly, in a ‘crisis’, people are much more likely to think contact with horses is a luxury. The good news on that second point is that contact with horses for people under stress is extremely beneficial, given you take the Way of the Horse, outlined by Linda Kohanov. The key to this is simply being with the horse and letting a dialogue grow – it is not fast food for thought but rather slow nurturing nourishment that heals and brings about a tremendous horse-powered sense of well being.
That said, as your horses are going to be working for the local community – with Cyndie that is a certainty and they most definitely do need a role and purpose -, you will want to develop a battery of materials and activities to enhance the above very gradual process. It is the ‘journey’ of discovery that reveals the, otherwise, hidden gems along the way. I expect Cyndie is better able to talk about that than I am and could even send me some of her material – actually, she was going to do that:-)
Knowing you as I do, John, you have a very strong characteristic in your favor – your love for natural organic processes. We create most problems ourselves instead of following the natural way of things. As far as possible, your aim is to let the horses eat what is available in the environment. Horses don’t require high quality feed and can make do on most anything – here, the horses are eating the fallen leaves for example – no leaf blowers necessary and no noise either – they love leaves. This has another hidden benefit as the new grass is not smothered and continues to grow longer. However, although able to make the best of low quality feed, they do need a LOT of it to stay healthy. Who knows you may get a ready supply of unwanted leaves from neighbors far and wide.
This is the type of thinking the horses will inspire in you; to be adaptive and see the hidden healthy potential in the environment and other situations, in general. That sounds very much like the John W. Hays, I know – one who is able to direct and organize in a mutually beneficial way.
Ian Rowcliffe
October 14, 2011 at 4:02 am