Relative Something

From the 1982 movie, “Night Shift” with Michael Keaton and Henry Winkler– Bill: What if you mix the mayonnaise in the can, WITH the tunafish? Or… hold it! Chuck! I got it! Take LIVE tuna fish, and FEED ’em mayonnaise! Oh this is great.
[speaks into tape recorder]

I cannot say how many times have I repeated the phrase about mixing mayonnaise into the can of tuna, out of context of the movie, but it comes to mind whenever I am around the brainstorming of ideas.

Bill: I’m an idea man Chuck, I get ideas, sometimes I get so many ideas that I can’t even fight them off!

The other day at work we were passing the time with some idle chit chat and the topic touched on needing to get gas for the car. Someone lamented how much they hate fueling the car in the winter and wondered why someone hasn’t created a drive-in gas station for the colder geographical locations. We all agreed we would be satisfied paying a few more cents per gallon for that convenience. I figured, why stop at that? I suggested someone offer NASCAR pit crew service stations that get you serviced in less than a minute and give you a drink while you are waiting.

I continued dreaming outloud. Next I want to have my car fueled while in motion like the fighter jets do it. A tanker with large wheels can just drive up over my car and do what the aircraft do to get fuel. Then I came back toward reality and mentioned that there should be a service like the windshield replacement or the mobile car wash vans that come to your parking spot while you work and take care of your car. A fuel truck could come to your car and fill it while you stayed warm and dry at work.

It’s funny to be doing all this forward thinking with a group that includes people who are disinclined to use credit cards and some of whom opt to receive a paper check in lieu of the direct deposit payroll option. I guess it is easier to dream about such possibilities than to commit to actually trusting newfangled conveniences.

On the way home I stopped and got gas in the cold, windy darkness of a Minnesota winter and realized the beauty of the ideas we were throwing around earlier.

Bill: Wanna know why I carry this tape recorder? To tape things. See, I’m an idea man, Chuck. I got ideas coming at me all day… I couldn’t even fight ’em off if I wanted. Wait a second… hold the phone! Hold the phone!
[speaking into tape recorder]
Bill: Idea to eliminate garbage. Edible paper. You eat it, it’s gone! You eat it, it’s outta there! No more garbage!