Relative Something

*this* John W. Hays' take on things and experiences

Posts Tagged ‘struggle

A Struggle

with 2 comments

Reconciling the precious and serene beauty of our little sanctuary property with the unsettling reports of the US Supreme Court decisions and White House announcements of a threatening nature is simply crazy-making. Even as I attempt to limit my exposure to the awful news of the calculated steps to erode our Constitutional guarantees, the reports get mixed in with popular culture.

My email inbox receives a constant flow of sensational clickbait subject lines that do nothing to alter the slide towards destroying our democracy. It all feels like, “Republicans Hate This One Trick That Will Stop T@#mp!” Yeah, me pledging $5 a month to “the cause.” That’s the trick they are alluding to. That’ll stop him!

Yet, life at Wintervale is as embarrassingly pleasant as ever. Cyndie and I are both retired and can pick and choose whatever we want to do each day. As caretakers of the fabulous property and the animals residing with us, we put care for both as a top priority. When that is under control, we get to put our energy toward each of our creative art hobbies.

Cyndie is currently taking a class on watercolor painting. I am sanding wood into enticing, silky smooth shapes. Asher is settling into a sweet companion with a much-reduced urge to run off without us. The horses are a dream to feed now that we have switched their offering to processed “Senior” nutrition for the morning and afternoon servings.

Cyndie got the deck sealed yesterday. I filled a couple more cracks I found in the driveway.

My brain struggles to process the great goodness we are able to enjoy while the government of this country is behaving in both petty and important ways towards destroying our rights and anyone it deems unfavorable.

If there is any possibility of confusion about my opinion on the subject, let me emphatically state that I OBJECT to everything and anything being said or done by the current administration, its advisors, and its puppet majority in the Supreme Court.

I wish to be included on any lists of enemies the government is compiling. If you succeed in taking away our rights of free speech, please arrest me without delay. My hunger strike will commence soon after.

To citizens of the rest of the world, I offer an apology for whatever ways my country has done you wrong, past or present. I’m sorry that the country that fought to stop the fascist Nazi regime has inexplicably flipped and is now acting in the very same manner as what we previously rejected.

Reconciling this is nothing but a struggle for my little brain. I try to avoid beating on this zombie of a subject, but it builds up sometimes to a level that I need to release. Also, I never want my silence on the topic to get misconstrued as acceptance.

If I somehow avoid incarceration for my objections to this administration, be assured I will sign up for the underground resistance to support whatever alliance forms to free the world from a new version of autocratic fascism led by a grifting narcissistic racist xenophobic misogynistic homophobic convicted rapist pedophile.

Such a struggle.

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Written by johnwhays

October 1, 2025 at 6:00 am

Twice Flat

with 2 comments

I fixed a flat tire on our two-wheeled wheelbarrow on Friday. What a surprise to find a large thorn had pierced the tire. Really? I somehow rolled that over a branch and a thorn cut right through the heavy rubber and punctured the inner tube? What are the odds of that? Come on! It’s a damn wheelbarrow for chrissakes!

Let it be known that I hate the process of getting a tire bead over a rim. I have wrestled with enough bicycle tires in my life to completely understand the process. Initially, there is a moment when it appears there is no possible way that round piece of stiff finite rubber is going to stretch far enough to make it over that larger rim. It happens to me every time. Even though I know better, there is a moment of, “this is never going to fit.”

Next comes the battle of pressing on the tire bead at the critical spot where it no longer wants to move over the rim. There are two of those spots; one to the left and one to the right. Since the tire is a circle, everything you gain at the spot on the right will be lost in equal amounts at the spot on the left, unless you find a way to prevent it.

I huff and puff, curse and struggle, trying this technique and that, wondering what I am doing wrong, and then suddenly there is some unlikely hint of progress. For no logical reason, I finally begin to gain ground. This is the ultimate moment of resolve. At this point it starts becoming increasingly easier to roll the rubber over the rim with each fraction of success. This is when the impossible task begins to appear feasible.

When it finally pops over, there is a sense of “that wasn’t so hard.” Why did I struggle so much at first? Unfortunately, I have never quite figured out why I have so much initial difficulty, nor what it is that finally brings me to the point of succeeding. I can never find a way to just cut all the agitation and get right to the part where it rolls over the rim.

Imagine my joy when I was using the wheelbarrow yesterday morning and discovered the tire was flat again. Aaaauugh! Did my patch fail?!

This is where I am my own worst enemy. My anguish wasn’t as much about my patch failing as it was about facing the tire/rim battle another time. I set my self up for failure with my mental energy focused on that likely failure. My wish came true.

The good news is that my patch didn’t fail. How likely is it that there was a second puncture in that tube? Every cyclist knows the pain of the twice-flat tire repair. If you don’t clean out the inside of the tire, imbedded debris can re-puncture a tube upon inflation. I figured the huge thorn I pulled out of that tire the first time was so obviously the source of my problem that I didn’t need to spend time looking for others. Apparently, I was wrong.

I didn’t find anything to explain the second puncture, but I did have so much difficulty getting the tire back on the rim, I needed to walk away from it and do something else for a while. When I came back to try again, I was mysteriously successful with a reasonable amount of effort.

That wasn’t so hard. However, I am writing this without having been out to check to see if that damn tire is still holding air this morning…

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Written by johnwhays

August 17, 2014 at 8:30 am