Relative Something

*this* John W. Hays' take on things and experiences

Posts Tagged ‘personal experience

Hard Imaginings

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Looking back on stories I’ve been told about things that happened before I was born, it occurs to me that I’ve lived through a relatively long period of stability. Thankfully, the U.S. Civil War and the two World Wars didn’t end the United States.

I was four years old when John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Too young to comprehend the full depth of such political turmoil. From my perspective, the world continued rather seamlessly.

My childhood occurred during the years my country was fighting the war in Vietnam. I was too young to be drafted into military service. I recall being occasionally aware of the risk, but my life was mostly insulated from any dramatic impact of the war. There were reports on the television news about casualties and protests, but as a kid, most of that drama went over my head.

My world involved stepping out our front door to hop on my bike and ride around the neighborhood to see who was outside forming a game of baseball, football, or kick-the-can. The first movie I saw that was rated “M” for Mature in a theater was, “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” in 1969.

Throughout my life, I developed a naive sense of normalcy about my country. I trusted the local, state, and federal governments to maintain law and order. It was easy to turn a blind eye to our interference in other countries and abuses of power at home. I felt the truth would eventually come out and miscreants would be brought to justice.

I’ve lived a comfortable life. Even when the riots in Minneapolis broke out after George Floyd was murdered by police officers, my property was not at risk. Slowly, things calm and people return to their usual routines.

Is it possible now that the democratic system of government the United States has been operating under since declaring independence from foreign nations is at risk of failure from within? It appears the citizens of this country have shifted significantly from a time when there was broad agreement over who our enemies were, foreign and domestic.

Imagine if we suddenly lost our right to freedom of speech against an authoritarian ruler. The kid in me can’t reconcile how anyone in this country would accept for one second a politician who holds anything but contempt for dictators or communist leaders.

After watching the chilling apocalyptic thriller, “Leave the World Behind” on Netflix, it occurred to me that the majority of average people will have a very hard time on their own in influencing greater society if our government collapses. It is easy to see how things could devolve to every family (or person) for themselves.

It is my hope that the year 2024 will find a vast majority of U.S. citizens coming together to overwhelmingly dispatch any candidate who doesn’t honestly and seriously support our democracy with freedom of the press, equality for all, separation of church and state, and ultimately, liberty and justice for all.

Next November, vote to preserve democracy. Kleptocrats, grifters, and wanna-be dictators need not apply.

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Painful Loss

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I knew Jennifer to be a precious, congenial, and amiable person, despite the experiences she lived through that drove her to multiple treatments for mental health concerns. Every time I saw her again after long absences, that remarkable dose of her true spark and desire to gain full command of her wellness glowed anew.

My idealistic goal of loving everyone on this earth is not always effortlessly achieved. Jenny was not one of the difficult ones. I loved her as easily as anyone.

It is devastating to have learned that she took her own life this week.

Those of us who knew and loved Jenny are experiencing the pain of losing the sound of her laughter, for good this time. It is we who must now reconcile the mental turmoil of the various roles we played in her life, of opportunities now vanished, hopes tarnished, with the burdens of sudden grief pressing down upon us.

As a person who has enjoyed great success in breaking free of the oppressive mental weight of depression, with all of its distortions of perception and its focus on imagined perils, I suffer deep heartbreak over instances where the interruption and amelioration of the affliction are unsuccessful.

There is debate about whether depression is curable or not, but there is general agreement that it is treatable. Good health requires maintenance, and being treated by professionals for depression can be a project of a lifetime.

In a way, good health habits are a self-directed form of treatment that keeps my depression at bay. It doesn’t feel focused on depression prevention for me because my healthy practices bring so many other rewards beyond just keeping my mind free from the dark dysfunctions that define the affliction.

Put simply, living healthy serves as a vaccination against the ills of depression for me.

It feels important to me to accentuate the time component of dealing with depression and frankly, all other aspects of a journey toward optimal health. I am profoundly moved by the length of time and variety of avenues Jenny navigated in her efforts toward health and well-being.

Good health does not happen in an instant as a result of a momentary desire to be healthy. It is a process that requires firm determination to stay on task for days that become weeks, then months, and ultimately, years. I often point out that a goal of getting healthy should be referenced against the number of months or years we allowed bad habits to weaken our muscles, add excess fat, compromise our livers, overtax our hearts, rob us of needed sleep, and ignore or misinterpret our full range of emotions.

May we always remember the best about loved ones who are no longer with us and seek inspiration from those fond memories for a determination to strive for our own optimal health in a journey that we renew every morning for the rest of our days.

Amen.

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For any occasion involving thoughts of suicide, free 24/7, confidential services are available:

call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800-273-8255), or text the Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741).

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Depression Awareness

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My experience with depression involved a long, slow advance that could well be compared to the boiling frog parable. I was oblivious to the illness in my head while it was busy crafting all manner of dysfunctional thinking habits.

When my angst would occasionally lead to curious contemplations, the version of depression I would use as a reference involved the stories about people who hit rock bottom and lost jobs, destroyed marriages, became sick from substance abuse, and eventually suffered run ins with the law.

That did not describe my life, so I figured depression wasn’t my problem.

Ultimately, I was lucky enough to discover that depression was precisely the boiling water in which I was engulfed.

Maybe if I had an easily accessible clinically validated screening questionnaire available to me, I could have become aware of my condition a lot earlier than I eventually did.

I’m hoping the progress with de-stigmatizing depression and all it’s related mental health afflictions, along with efforts like the recent partnering between Google and the National Alliance on Mental Illness to offer an online tool to help diagnose depression, will shorten the suffering for all those who aren’t sure about what’s going on with their health.

Check this out: Learning More About Clinical Depression…

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