Posts Tagged ‘Perceptions’
Impermanence Is
On Saturday, Cyndie and I enjoyed some blissful moments tending to our labyrinth garden. The horses noticed our activity and wandered over to graze beside us while we toiled. Cyndie pulled weeds and I did some rock-work to add robustness to the entrance of the center circle.
It has become apparent that one of the two boulders in the center is leaning away from where we originally placed it. I’m hoping to pull it back upright with some manner of rigging and then see if there will be a way to prop it up with a small rock beneath.
The almost imperceptible movement of that huge rock is a gentle reminder to us that things we tend to assume are static —permanent, even— are nothing of the sort. I need to keep that in mind and endeavor to incorporate that reality into my designs for enhancements to our property.
I guess the trail I recently worked to reclaim is another classic example. It will not remain a trail without regular maintenance. Another obvious example that comes to mind is how much erosion is occurring in our paddocks after the summer rains. Before the horses were in those spaces, there was grass growing everywhere, which worked to hold the soil in place. That is no longer the case.
Beyond all the intentional infrastructure improvements we have done —clearing brush, adding fences, creating new drive paths— there are natural changes happening all the time. There will never be an absence of change. Everything and everyone is in constant transition, and at a continually varying rate of change.
Impermanence is.
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Ultimate Homework
It’s been almost two months now since I stopped commuting to a day-job, having switched to the role of stay-at-home full-time ranch manager for Wintervale. I’m beginning to get a sense of how this new work environment has its own special combination of advantages and disadvantages for me.
(+) I cherish the fact that I no longer have to drive over an hour to get to my workplace. That commute dictated a lot of my activities during the week.
(-) I am always at my workplace. There is no moment of leaving it all behind at the end of the workday.
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(+) I don’t have to fill out a timesheet, punch the timeclock, fret over being late, or struggle with deciding if I should call in sick.
(-) There is no end of the workday. I don’t get to call in sick.
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(+) I get to be my own boss.
(-) I am my own boss.
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(+) I work in paradise. A beautiful outdoor environment with amazing vistas.
(-) My workplace is not a controlled environment. It’s often too hot, in winter it can get too cold, there are flies, wasps, mosquitoes, and there is, quite literally, shit everywhere.
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(+) There are no workplace personality conflicts …not that I was having any. I’ve heard it happens in some offices.
(-) I am suffering from a bit of withdrawal from human interaction. A workday devoid of talking with another person starts to feel a bit like solitary confinement.
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(+) I get to work with animals. Plenty of folks wish they could bring their dog or cat to work with them. I’ve got both, plus horses!
(-) It is a long known adage in show business to never work with animals. There are days when I can see why… “Delilah! NO!”
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Perception
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time is short
time flies
time is fleeting
days just disappear
laughing
as perception
morphs
to fit our curious course
pretending
what can happen
along our chosen path
could matter somehow
to anyone else
who hasn’t ever noticed
what light looks like
reflected in our eyes
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Things Change
I suppose the transition will never be complete. Everything, including ourselves, is in constant transformation. In a couple of months we will have completed our second year living in a rural setting, now with 4 horses, a dog, and a cat. We moved from our home of 25 years in the suburban area where we had grown up, living those last few years with no pets at all. The transition has been monumental for us.
Since we arrived, I learned how to drive our diesel tractor (12 forward gears, 4 reverse). We adopted 2 cats, one of which has been returned. We found a fence contractor who helped us design a new layout, cleared scrub brush and trees, and installed paddock and hay-field fencing. We cut a new trail through our woods to finish a loop. We added a gravel driveway around a new hay shed we had built. We built a 70-foot diameter labyrinth garden, now officially named the Rowcliffe Forest Garden Labyrinth, after our dear friend, Ian Rowcliffe, who has influenced and inspired us immeasurably in this adventure. I built a wood shed and then dismantled it after it blew over in a storm.
We discovered a Belgian Tervuren dog breeder not too far away and brought home beautiful Delilah, a 9-month-old puppy. After bolstering the stables and barn walls with new planks of wood, we eventually got around to adding horses; 4 beautiful Arabians. The dream for this property, and for the modifications to it, have all been centered around the plan to have these horses, even though at the start, we weren’t sure from where the horses would come.
This summer I found myself pulling a hay rake behind my tractor and helping my neighbor to bale our hay and it felt like the transformation had reached a real milestone. This was almost like being a real farmer. I’ve certainly spent enough time digging around in our manure pile to at least feel like a rancher. I’ve planted, transplanted, fed, watered, and also cut down, split and chipped enough trees to feel like a lumberjack.
In July of this year, Cyndie started a new job which triggered the decision to have me stop working in the Twin Cities and stay home full-time to manage the property and animals.
There are still some significant projects pending which are looming large. We need to get drain tile and landscaping done to improve drainage around the paddocks, and we are adding the next phase of fencing to enclose a grazing pasture.
Our transition is nowhere near complete, but as we approach the accomplishment of our second year here, we are seeing the benefits of the changes we have made and noticing a feeling of significance for where we are now, in light of where we have been. We find ourselves pausing more often, to sit in our rocking chairs on the hill overlooking our back yard and take it all in.
Delilah, born about the time we bought this place and so also approaching two years old, now sits with us by the rockers, instead of running around chewing on everything. A very welcome change, among many.
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More Designing
I recently built a platform outside the back door of the barn for Cyndie’s portable sink. She said she liked it, but that she was also hoping to have a work station for washing horses in that area. On Friday, I worked on a design for a way to provide that, just beyond the sink.
The area will require a fair amount of fill, so I decided it was time to use the loader bucket on the diesel tractor. Moving massive amounts of manure was one of the reasons I figured I needed this tractor, but up until now, we have been managing just fine without it.
Actually, our neighbor, George, was just asking about our manure pile, and happily offered us the use of his manure spreader, as long as we can fill it using the loader on our tractor. That would allow us to spread our fertilizer on the hay-field. His asking created incentive for me to practice my skills using the loader for something other than snow.
It doesn’t come naturally for me. I have better control using hand tools. However, there is no denying the increased efficiency the loader provides. I can move a lot more fertilizer in a lot less time. One of my problems with mechanized assistance is that it also allows me to make a lot bigger mistakes in a shockingly quick blink of an eye.
For now, I am using the mostly composted manure from long ago as clean fill around our property. I moved a few bucket-loads to the spot and now have a sense of space that will be needed. I plan to bury a couple of fence posts to make a hitching rail and build up a platform where the horses will stand. We have some plastic grates that interlock, which we will fill with pea-gravel, and then that will be covered by rubber mats. I expect there will be a layer of plastic beneath the pea-gravel to cause water to drain in the direction we want it to go.
Luckily, Cyndie said she doesn’t expect to be washing horses for a while, so I have time to proceed in phases.
She was able to make use of the new arena space in the afternoon, exercising the horses with a lunge line. It was beautiful to see. The horses responded nicely to the exercise, and moved proudly around her in this new workout space that has been created.
Every day is something new around here. The progress of late has been invigorating for the soul, yet taxing on the body. That end-of-the-day shower is becoming a ritual of renewal and recovery after long days of heavy laboring.
During a brief pause between tasks yesterday afternoon, Cyndie brought out popsicles and invited me to join her on rocking chairs overlooking the back yard. With a cool breeze washing over us, it was a precious (and intentional) opportunity to take a moment to enjoy the richness of blessings we are surrounded by here. They are more than enough justification for the hard work we find ourselves engaged in day-after-day.
Bountiful Harvest
You would be wrong if you thought the only thing we harvest at Wintervale is hay. Although, you gotta love that hay is one of our big crops, when our last name is, “Hays.” Of course, you may also be remembering that our horses produce an impressive amount of fertilizer, but as much as I boast about our compost pile, it will be a long time before we will be making any money off that.
The lesser known crop we have here, and the one with probably the best potential of becoming a future money-maker, is black raspberries. When Cyndie cans them as “blackcap” jam, they turn into liquid gold.
The wild bushes we have all over the place sprout a surprising amount of fruit in a short amount of time, often overnight. Cyndie has gotten in the habit of bringing a container along when she takes Delilah for walks, because new fruit seems to burst forth in places we didn’t even realize had the potential.
There is something special about the jam these berries produce. Their tantalizing aroma is almost as satisfying as the taste. If you already know and love that flavor, one whiff of the smell will trigger the irrepressible urge to consume.
We had no patience once the berries appeared, and Cyndie cooked up the first small batch she picked, to create a topping for waffles. A little local maple syrup over the top and we had our taste buds doing flips of joy over their good fortune.
This year, when conditions have been miserable for a lot of things, the raspberry plants seem to be doing quite well.
We’ve got a year’s supply of hay stacked in the hay shed, but I don’t think we’ll ever be able to stock enough of her blackcap jam. It’s just too irresistible.
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Managing Tasks
It’s the middle of July and we are experiencing a cold spell to go along with the latest batch of passing rain showers. I finally pulled out a long sleeve shirt yesterday afternoon because I was getting a chill while I sat inside, waiting out the rain. Monday had me back at the 14-hour day, caring for animals and working on chores around the property.
On Saturday, I had a chance to do a little test run of the new wood chipper. Works like a charm. I’m looking forward to grinding all the piles of branches we have laying around.
Yesterday, I worked on cutting down small growth to open up a path for installation of electric fencing that will enclose the back grazing pasture. The area where I was working is down by the drainage ditch that runs along the southern border of our property. I am also working on cutting down the trees that have grown down in that ditch. The combination of cuttings from those two areas have made for several significant brush piles that I will be turning into wood chips. What fun!
Any trees that are too big for the chipper will be turned into firewood. Too bad I don’t have anyplace to stack firewood right now. Rebuilding the woodshed remains a priority, but it is below hauling hay and clearing a path for pasture fencing.
My other priority is to try to get 8-hours of sleep a night. I need the rest since I am working the long days. Unfortunately, my latest attempts have been foiled. Feels a little like burning the candle at both ends. It’s hard because my manager in this new mode of working self-managed, is a real task master.
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Hay Day
Picking up hay was delayed yesterday as a result of some light rain showers that moved through. Even when it wasn’t raining, the high dew point temperature made everything feel wet. I took it as a sign I should tackle some of the indoor chores that I’ve been neglecting, so I lingered in the air conditioning to finally pick up and put away bike stuff and camping gear that I’ve been ignoring since I got home from vacation.
I made it outside eventually, and headed down to clean the paddocks while I waited for a call from our hay guy. I pretty much had a days’ worth of work completed by the time I went in for lunch shortly after 1 o’clock. Just as I finished preparing my food, the call came for me to go get the hay.
As I pulled in their driveway, I spotted our new favorite hay dealer headed around a barn on his tractor, glancing back in the nick of time to catch a glimpse of me. Tom seemed very friendly, for a guy who at the same time comes across as all business. Without a greeting, he called to me to drive around the barn, guiding me as I backed the truck into position at a hay wagon. We’d hardly exchanged words and he was tossing bales into my truck bed. He told me that I wouldn’t need to bother strapping the load down if I placed the bales exactly as he instructed. I was all ears.
Much to my surprise, we fit 40 bales on that truck. It worked so well for me that I’m hoping he won’t object to our making many trips back to his farm, picking up as much as he is willing to sell to us, but in 40-bale-at-a-time batches.
If I borrow a trailer, things just get that much more complicated, including the time involved to load and unload. If I’m working alone, which is what will most likely be the case, 40 is a good number that I can move in a relatively short amount of time (before my body starts to get too fatigued).
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Inexplicable Realities
How did I spend my 4th of July Independence Day holiday? Mowing. We have finally begun the transition from too wet to too dry. It’s crazy how quickly the environment seems to swing from one extreme to another. While there are still areas with standing water, the grass growing in places that have dried out is already beginning to show a little stress. The happy medium is an elusive ideal.
Last week when I mowed, the residual clippings were excessive and left rows of dead grass. I didn’t bother with picking them up at the time, and after a few days I realized it was significant enough that I wished I had. It inspired me to pull out the grass catcher option this time, even though it annoys me to have to stop and empty it as often as needed. It worked pretty well for the most part, but when the tube rising off the mower deck would plug, the clippings and mud accumulated around the blades beneath the deck.
By the time I finished, it had become a hellacious re-molded surface under there with barely space for the spinning blades. Yikes!
I got another chance to practice removing the mower deck from the tractor.
I’m feeling less anxious about finding someone to cut our hay field after talking with my next door neighbor to the south. In hind sight, I discovered that my usual pattern of allowing myself to endure pressure about doing things “correctly” (like cutting when it is time to cut) is one of the primary forces causing my angst. Just hearing from the neighbor that we can’t cut here yet because it wouldn’t be able to dry enough on the ground, brought me a huge sense of relief.
It didn’t hurt that he also mentioned that the person who rents his field, and will be cutting hay there as soon as possible, would probably be able to help us out if my first option doesn’t come through.
A few posts back somewhere, I made mention of Legacy and Dezirea being hesitant to pass through the gate to our grazing pasture. I think I figured it out. It wasn’t just because the ground was so saturated there, but because their hooves sink so far in the muck that somehow the electric wire running underground between fence posts had gotten nicked and was arcing in the mud. It was hard for me to hear, but they obviously sensed the problem and it made them very uncomfortable.
It is feeling lately as if the line between functioning and failing is a very fine one, making it all the more challenging to reach the goal we are seeking. Our sights are well beyond merely functioning. We hold a vision of positively thriving!
Time for me to go mingle with the herd and practice absorbing more of their amazing horse-sense.
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I’m Trying
Honestly, I’m trying keep a positive attitude about the lack of progress with our situation at Wintervale, but my efforts seem futile against the elements. Wet weather is the greatest culprit. It takes several days after a measurable rainfall to see the crest of ground water drainage, so even two beautifully sunny days after a storm, our land just seems to become wetter. I doubt we have had more than two days without rain yet this year.
On top of that, the precipitation we have been receiving has been in crazy large doses. The storms rolling through have commonly dropped 2, 3, and even 4 inch totals. The horses have been reasonably tolerant, for which we are extremely grateful, but it is apparent they are burdened by the disastrous conditions of the paddocks.
We still have a temporarily roped small space on the gravel driveway where they can get a break from the mud. Cyndie recently helped me move the temporary fence defining a grazing area, to expand it onto some untouched growth. They seem moderately happy with it, but struggle to reach it through an area that is extremely soaked and soft. The sad truth is that everywhere is soaking wet, so it gets only marginally better after they cross that worst spot.
Often times, we find they have taken it upon themselves to come in from the grass and we find them standing up by the barn. It surprises us that they give up on grazing before we need to force them, and their acceptance of standing under the barn overhang is a new behavior, too. I’m guessing that they have just finally come to recognize all the sounds that come from wind and the creaking expansion of a steel building on a sunny day. The horses used to stay away from the barn whenever the wind was blowing.
It has been a week since I returned from the bike trip, and the lawn is in desperate need of mowing again, just like it looked when I got home and needed to dive into the project at that time. Too bad it is so rainy this weekend and I need to work the day-job next week to cover for my assistant who is on vacation. My chance to get some of it done yesterday was foiled from the get-go. My Saturday started with this message from Cyndie: “I have bad news…”
It was a special day for us, because Cyndie had scheduled her first mini-seminar of training. Our daughter, Elysa, was bringing friends and it would provide us the chance to do something of a test run through the routine we are envisioning will become the mainstay of our future operations of Wintervale Ranch.
“The kitchen sink isn’t draining.”
On the bright side, I got out of needing to do the vacuuming (which unfortunately still needs to be done). So, Cyndie had to prepare her welcome brunch and lunchtime meal without a working sink. I got to spend my day running a snake through the stink of drain muck, negotiating over the phone with local plumbers, running to the hardware store for a longer snake, spilling nasty water on myself and the kitchen floor, and finally succeeding and putting everything back together in time for dinner.
Try as I might, the ultimate victory over that battle didn’t do enough for my attitude to keep me from feeling helpless and inundated by the overwhelming number of things that await attention around here. We are sinking beneath the water and all the projects that are falling behind the endless passing time of days and weeks.
July is around the corner. I better get after those April and May projects pretty soon. Oh boy, I’m trying.
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Relative Something 