Posts Tagged ‘memory’
Mood
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maybe it’s this mood I’m in
that has me feeling this way
falling head over heels
for another character
Anna Kendrick played
in a movie
and getting floored
by every song
on a John Hiatt album
from deep in the stack
when did we get this old
that we look like our parents
or some of us
like our grandparents
slogging away
at the day to day
letting time sail past
unaware how it pulls
us along on the crest
flying through moods
as they materialize
conjured from unlikely sources
a dream
a picture
a thought I once had
a dog I just remembered
from a long time ago
it’s all Jello
in different colors
before photo manipulation was all the rage
but it can’t be retrieved
no matter how long we wait
so we wrestle with the trick
of figuring out how it’s still connected
with this particular minute
and I wonder what it has to do
with this mood I still find myself in
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Soft Ground
Nature didn’t live up to what the forecasters had predicted for us on Sunday. The temperature struggled to approach 50° (F) and the sky never really cleared enough to allow the sun to make much difference. Despite the less-than-inspiring conditions, Cyndie and I rallied our energies to pull out the wood chipper for another round of chewing up brush piles.
Since we are in the wonderful season when the top layer of soil is freezing and thawing daily, I had hoped to park the tractor on the driveway again, near the next largest pile of branches. Unfortunately, that meant the chute would be pointed directly into the wind and everything coming out would blow right back at the tractor.
Plan B had me moving a short distance off the pavement so we could point in a direction where the wind wouldn’t be a problem. Things progressed swimmingly until I apparently tossed in a limb that too closely resembled the petrified oak branches that foiled our efforts last time out.
I instantly realized I had completely forgotten to shop for more robust shear bolts after the previous go-round when the hardware replacement broke as fast as I installed it. Details, details.
I think I’ll remember to buy new bolts this time, especially if I do it on the way home from work today. No time like the present.
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Leisure Happens
I may describe most of our activities as exclusively focused on one project or another around here, but our days are not entirely void of occasional leisurely pursuits.
From the driver’s seat of my car as I approached the house yesterday after work, I noticed instantly that Cyndie had put up one of our hammocks. I wondered if I had failed to pay attention to her plans to host visitors. Why else would she be putting out our “accessories?”
Inside, I spotted a string of horse-shaped lights she had hung across the mantel over the fireplace, and figured something must definitely be up.
She came in from the barn and said that it was such a nice day with a wonderful summery wind blowing, she put up the hammock for us to lounge and enjoy. It was for us to use! Imagine that.
I asked about the string of horses on the mantel. She told me those had been up since her workshop two weeks ago.
Color me oblivious.
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Ponder This
Time changes everything. Time has a tendency of changing my memories. I’ve been told that each time I remember something, the memory morphs a little bit.
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When I mentally visualize plans for the future, the conjured perceptions in my mind have the same “look” to me as when I am revisiting my memories.
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What if, in the present moment, I imagine a future occasion where I re-experience something I remember from the past?
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Added Detail
A few days ago I wrote about the attempted fraud using my Wintervale credit card number, and how the bank had neglected to notify me. At the time I wrote that, I didn’t have all the facts. Well, I may have had some of them. I just forgot a pertinent detail.
Cyndie pointed out that she thought the bank did contact us, by way of her phone. She remembered it because she thought it weird at the time, that they called her to question use of my card.
She was visiting her parents in Florida when the call came, so she contacted me while I was at the day-job, a little confused over the details of the banks concern. She gave me a number to call, along with a case number for reference.
Given this additional detail, my fuzzy memory began to recollect snippets of the occasion. The fragments I dredged up led me to paint the picture thusly: I called and talked over the situation.
I do remember the feeling that nothing was amiss and my account was fine, which is probably why shortly after it happened, I forgot the call had even occurred.
Looking back now, it makes total sense that the problem I confirmed recently is related to that odd call in January.
Obviously, nothing was amiss with my account, except that my card wouldn’t work if I tried to use it. No transactions were ever approved, so I never saw anything suspicious on my monthly statements. Cyndie’s card continued to work just fine, and we carried on blissfully ignorant.
Yesterday, I received an email from an online forestry products retailer with this title: “Notice of Data Breach.”
Following an extensive eight week forensic examination, we have recently learned that the cyber attacks actually first occurred in December 2011. The forensic examination shows that beginning in December 2011, a person or persons without authorization accessed and possibly stole credit card information from our website belonging to our customers. The thief or thieves accessed our website remotely and overcame our firewall and security protections.
I did make a purchase at this site. This is where we bought our Swedish log splitter and a device that holds long branches for cutting logs with a chainsaw.
Their message went on to describe “…types of information stolen appears to include credit card numbers, cardholder names, CCV numbers, credit card expiration dates, addresses and phone numbers, email addresses, log- in and password” to their site.
Well, apparently they didn’t get my CCV number! That is why the multiple attempts didn’t go through, according to the person I spoke with at my bank.
I find it interesting that I was so quick to discount that anything was wrong back when I made the call in January to see why they were contacting us about our account. My Spidey sense™ was not tingling.
Maybe I wasn’t properly honed in on “the moment.”
Ya think?
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Dream On
I recently had one of those dreams where I awoke with the feeling that it had actually happened. When you dream about someone you know, do you find yourself inclined to tell them about it?
“You were in my dream!”
I struggle with that urge. I usually want to tell the person. It was so real!
But they weren’t involved. It was my mind conjuring a depiction of them. I could just as well imagine a scene with another person while I am wide awake, and then go tell them the details. Seems rather creepy when considered like that.
At the same time, we are all connected. When we think of others, we can strengthen connections with them. Spending time with someone in our dreams creates a strong feeling of connection, but I figure it probably is a lopsided one.
When I experience a dream connection with someone, it ends up commanding my attention for a long time. When I am able to recall the details of a dream that involved a perception of a person I know, it will seem no different to me from memories I have acquired about experiences while awake.
It is not surprising to hear someone questioning themselves over whether they are remembering an actual event or something they dreamed. People have even come up with the generally accepted and universally understood phenomenon of pinching, to establish whether an experience is a dream, or not.
At this point in my life, I don’t usually want to know.
Why spoil the unlimited possibilities of a dream state by checking for reality?
Dream on, I say.
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