Relative Something

Sometimes, it’s helpful to create a list, whether you need one or not.

• That look when a dog tilts its head.
• Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Bark with Almond, Pretzel & Sea Salt.
• Giggles from kids younger than 4.
• Eyeglasses that actually fit and correctly improve vision.
• Effective use of italics.
• Narrators with voices that sound comfortingly familiar.
• Thinking thoughts without perceiving them as [silently] spoken words.
• Knowing the difference between two similar things.
• Being on the safe side.
• LED light bulbs.
• Reading between the lines even when there are no spaces.
• Waiting for a ride.
• Shedding a tear at just the right moment.
• Always remembering to get to an appointment on time.
• Walking in late because there were no convenient parking spots.
• Cuff links.
• Answers to questions you were never asked.
• Jokes and riddles.
• Bullet points.
• Bonus points.
• Ball points.
• Insufficient segue logic.
• Candelabrum.
• Being reminded of something from the past of which you have no recollection.
• Forgetting the reason for making a list.
• Having so quiet a mind that nothing can be identified to add to a list.
• Emptying the garbage bin.
• Refusing to experiment with ChatGPT.
• Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
• Carrying your shoes, one in each hand.
• Super slow-motion replays.
• Poetry and song lyrics that are indistinguishable, one from the other.
• Unsolicited advice.
• Empathy.
• Comedy.
• Politicization of existential angst.
• Tenacity.
• Scratch paper.
• Wing nuts.
• Wing tips.
• Unfinished business.
• Final chapters.
• Feeling so much better after making a list.

I’m glad that’s over. Now I can get on with more important things. What was I going to do today? Oh, yeah… I’m going to spend too much money to get new tires on my Crosstrek. The car is approaching 80K miles on the original tires. Maybe if tires last that many miles, “too much money” is not a justifiable gripe.

It’s a luxury to have new tires compared to having everything I own turned to rubble by bombs of war. It is only because I am not living in a war zone that I can waste mental energy creating a seemingly purposeless list.

Throwing words and phrases, sometimes sentences, onto a list can be compared to an artist who creates paintings by randomly splashing colors onto a canvas.

Viewed from a certain angle, a person just might find a moment of resonance with the object, possibly even the creator.

If I were to make the list above again, I’d probably add:

• An audible heavy sigh.

inserted somewhere strategic. Whether it needs it or not.

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