Posts Tagged ‘family’
Family Feast
Our Thanksgiving holiday was blessed with family graciously agreeing to travel the distance to our home, despite the onset of our first measurable snowfall of the season. We feasted and visited with full Thanksgiving spirit.
In the morning, our favorite neighbor, George Walker, brought some of his family by, enriching our holiday more than ever. The wet morning drizzle transitioned to snow and the day became a blur of kids, boots, sleds, food, and food, and more food.
I have no idea how many calories I consumed, but due to the fact that I found myself snacking non-stop from early on, up to the main event dinner, and beyond, I expect it was well past normal. That’s part of what makes a holiday feast event special. It is definitely not normal.
I captured a shot of 7 precious people working on preparations in the kitchen, with Delilah lingering close to keep the floor clean in case of spills.
We had all 5 leaves extending the table to full-size and then added a card table at the end, which serves to really make it seem like a holiday feast.
Food was superb, family supreme, and a grand time was had by all.
It was a fine day of thanks. We have much for which to be thankful.
Above it all, family and friends.
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Really Me
I watched a movie last night about a person who went undercover, and the discomfort it created for me led me to realize how much I prefer being authentic. You can ask me a question about my life and I won’t have to make up an answer, I can tell you what really happened. Or at least, the version of what happened that my mind conjured up for storage in my memories. I fully admit to the fallibility of my perceptions.
If you were to ask me what happened in my life 34 years ago today however, I would have no problem recalling the beautiful blue sky and warm sunshine that broke a chain of much less lovely weather during the week prior. 
I remember feeling a bit disoriented by all that was going on around me, because much of it was all about me. It was also all about Cyndie, as that is the day we were married in the Noerenberg Garden park on the shore of Lake Minnetonka, in Wayzata, MN.
For too many of the ensuing years, I have been the target of much grief and good-natured ridicule from my wife for the time I sought clearance from her to go away for a weekend of mountain biking with friends, having not put two and two together to determine it would mean I would be gone over our anniversary. It was an innocent oversight, but not one a husband should ever make if he doesn’t want to hear about it over and over, for many years after.
If there is any matrimonial justice in the world, a wife who chose to schedule a week away with her friends on the far side of the country during her wedding anniversary weekend would be setting herself up for an equal number of years of grief from her husband, but I don’t think it works that way.
If you happen to read this today, my dear, Happy Anniversary!
Now, if someone asked me what happened 27 years ago today, I would also know exactly what happened in my life that day. Cyndie and I received the best anniversary present we could possibly imagine. Our son, Julian was born on our 7th anniversary. I like the fact that one of my favorite memories of that day, beyond seeing his face for the first time, involves our daughter, Elysa.
I had ventured from the hospital to pick her up and bring her to meet her brother. I bet Cyndie recalls who was taking care of her and what she was wearing, but those details, I didn’t retain. I remember that little 2-year-old girl in her car seat behind me, as I pulled up to a fast food drive-through menu to fill Cyndie’s one request. She needed a specific chicken sandwich from Arby’s that she couldn’t get from the hospital’s kitchen.
I had barely completed the sentence proclaiming my order for the sandwich to the faceless wall, when, without missing a beat, a tiny voice came from behind me… “And a coke!” Elysa knew what her mother would want.
Happy Birthday, Julian!
I’m so glad I don’t have to make any of this stuff up.
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Double Double
I am doing double, double-duty this week: at home, I am covering for Cyndie while she is visiting the west coast with friends, and at the day-job, I am filling in for a vacationing employee. What an unfortunate coincidental timing for these two situations to occur.
I am taxed with not being able to leave home before rush-hour traffic builds, because I need to tend to our daily morning animal-care routine first, while at the same time, I have twice the work facing me at the day-job, which realistically requires I spend extra time there. Not gonna happen. I need to get home early to rescue Delilah from the confines of her outdoor kennel and then feed the horses their afternoon nutrition.
Somethings gotta give, and I’m afraid it’s going to be service to our customers for a few days. Maybe they won’t notice.
At home, I fear the never-ending grass growth is likely to be my ongoing nemesis. It needs mowing again already! I didn’t have time yesterday after work. Between needing to give Delilah a healthy amount of attention and cleaning up a day’s worth of manure, the ever-shorter evening daylight hours were easily consumed.
Now that I am checking the temperature of the composting manure pile every day, I am finding that I need to turn it over with the pitch fork much more often that I had been doing.
I took a picture of the thermometer displaying that it was over 160° (F) again, after I had just mixed it around on Sunday. What a fascinating phenomenon that heat generation is.
Speaking of heat, we are enjoying a spectacular rendition of warm September days this week. Yesterday felt like warmth of a summer day, but there is no mistaking the subtle clues that frame it as autumnal.
I expect that the changing angle of the sun contributes greatly, but the actuality of that is not entirely obvious. Around our place, we’ve already got enough crunchy leaves over our trails that they are contributing a distinct fall-like aroma to go along with the auditory serenade that happens beneath footsteps.
We are in a period of high winds, as well, and something about the way the rushing warm air felt on my skin last night gave me a feeling that this is something special to be appreciated. It was hot, without being hot. Seriously. That may not make sense to you, but it explains the impression that warm September air can produce.
I am challenged with needing to luxuriate in this brilliantly spectacular weather for more than just myself, but for Cyndie, too, since I’m absorbing her share of bliss while she’s gone. It’s the least I could do.
It wouldn’t make much sense to only take on the burdens her absence presents, would it?
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Dinner Outside
I was stuck at the day-job yesterday on a rare Friday and this morning I find myself there again, on an even rarer Saturday. My heavy work schedule hasn’t stopped us from having a rich life at home, however. On the laborious commute home yesterday through heavy traffic that was probably a function of it being the start of our Labor Day holiday weekend, I received a call from Cyndie’s brother, Ben. He was driving a van with 4 kids, headed for the lake and already interested in a break from the stop-and-go routine on the highway.
He selected a re-route that took him close enough to our place for a brief visit. By now, those of you reading probably know that having visitors is one of our favorite things. This was a wonderful unexpected delight. Especially as it fit perfectly prior to an outing we had planned with our friends, Barb and Mike.
About an hour after Ben succeeded in herding his kids back into the van for the remainder of their trek to the lake, Barb and Mike arrived in their Prowler convertible for a picturesque drive to the Rush River valley for dinner at the open air pavilion of Vino in the Valley restaurant.
It was Cyndie’s and my third visit for a meal at Vino in the Valley, and this time we enjoyed the full experience of dining later into the evening. While seated at the 4-sided bar gazebo, we got to chat with owner Larry Brenner, who later, led a couple of sing-alongs and provided shout-outs to birthday and anniversary celebrants.
Custom concrete starlit bar surface!
My beverage of choice on the bar.
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The summer evening was divine, despite the barely comfortable dew point temperature, the live music was very good, the more than reasonably priced food was delicious and portions extensive. I found myself wondering aloud about how rich it all made me feel.
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Guest Photos
Cyndie and a few of our party guests have shared some photos from our summer celebration extravaganza. They save me coming up with words today…
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Good Progress
I’m not quite done with everything I dreamed of doing over the weekend, but I certainly made good progress toward that goal. I would like to finish trimming the weeds along the wood fence of the paddock, and then I’m satisfied that the most visible areas of the ranch look pretty well maintained.
Why do I want it to look good? We’ve got company coming! Our friends from Guatemala, the Morales family, will be arriving around midnight tonight. Then, on the following Saturday, we are hosting a rockin’ party, with an open invite to friends, family, co-workers, and varying levels of acquaintances to come celebrate summer with us and meet our guests.
A number of those who have indicated they plan to come will be seeing our place for the first time. We want it to look nice!
Yesterday, I finished spreading the remainder of the pile of lime screenings, using the bucket on the tractor. It just reached the point where I had done all the tricky parts by hand and needed to finish quickly in order to move on to the next job. The tractor worked well for me this time. I left the horses in the paddock and they patiently tolerated the racket of my back and forth effort on the machine.
While I had the big tractor out, I used the brush mower to knock down some excessive weed growth that the horses have been avoiding in the space between their paddock and the arena area.
I also did some trimming with the power trimmer, tightened all the wires on our fences, cleaned the entry to my shop, swept up the grass clippings on the lawn using the grass catcher pulled behind our lawn tractor, and tended to the daily manure management chore.
In the middle of the day, Julian arrived to help me record a vocal track for a project to which I had been recruited. His mad skills on the recording software allowed us to quickly create a version that was very well received by the person who requested it of me.
It was a long day for me. In order to get it all done, I got up early and then worked through the dinner hour. Getting back to the day-job today will feel like a day of rest, even if it is busy there.
Busy at the office is nothing like busy on the ranch, you know.
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Perfect Day
I’m going to assume that you all guessed we are up at our lake place. We were able to secure coverage in caring for our home and animals for a few days, so we scampered up to our favorite getaway to spend the weekend with Cyndie’s parents and some of her brother’s family, in addition to the many other wonderful members and friends of our unique community up here.
We enjoyed an absolutely perfect summer day yesterday. Spent the majority of it on the beach of our lake, with friends and family, plenty of rambunctious kids frolicking on floating devices in the water, warm sunshine, gentle breezes, and an opportunity for a nap on a lounge chair during a lull in the activity.
The lake temperature was ideal for summer refreshment, without being too cold to get used to easily. I flirted with getting too much sun, choosing to forgo the sensible solution of applying sun screen, by limiting my time of exposure out in the water. I was able to enjoy the day without feeling greasy, but probably put myself at a bit of a risk. I could feel it on my skin last night, but it was short of actually being painful.
I put in a fair amount of effort to not perseverate over the work that was not getting done at home, but found myself unable to avoid fretting over the need to get home early today to mow the grass. I will be up against the challenge of somehow getting the job done in the short time left in the day after we arrive home, and despite a threat of likely showers and thunderstorms.
Time runs out when evening comes, because I have to return to work tomorrow.
It’s a problem that I am willing to accept, given the pleasure we enjoyed in being up at the lake for a couple of perfect days at the beach.
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Thrilling News
We are giddy with anticipation over our good fortune to have our friends, the Morales family, returning to visit us again in a few weeks. Since we have adopted each other as family, it is like a reunion of precious relations. Cyndie has unleashed her irrepressible inspirations and fearless energies toward making plans and preparations that have me questioning how she intends to bend time and space in her physics-defying scenarios of everything she wants to happen while they are here.
If you are one of the crew of local followers of “Relative Something,” this is your chance to get in on the action! For those of you who won’t be able to join us, you can trust that my stories and images describing the summer spectacle will be the subject of posts in the days that follow…
.We feel incredibly blessed to live in this wonderful place with our special animals, and it brings us immeasurable joy when others are able to be here to share in the experience along with us.
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Quick Fix
I paid for my neglect.
Cyndie pointed out something yesterday in our back pasture as we were strolling the grounds toward the labyrinth, after visiting the horses with her parents and our kids. We had just enjoyed a scrumptious Mother’s Day brunch at our house before heading out into the cool, blustery wind. Rain had been predicted, but the pending arrival was moved to much later in the day.
It’s a good thing that most of the day was dry, because it gave me a chance to remedy a situation that occurred because my failure to follow through on a plan. When the drain tile was installed last fall, it was left up to me to place grids over the trenches in high traffic areas. I didn’t do anything about it in the days after the contractor had finished his work, and then winter arrived and it all became buried in snow and ice.
Honestly, I just haven’t been concerned enough about it this spring to take any action yet. Then Cyndie alerted me to how the recent heavy downpour of rain had washed away stones at the end of the line that runs into the pasture. That left some of the tubing exposed, which revealed areas where the weight of the horses had pushed through the wet ground deep enough to collapse the tube in several spots.
Luckily, the damage occurred at the end of the line where it just runs out into the pasture, and the installer had run the tubing far enough out that I could shorten it without putting the areas I was trying to protect at risk. As soon as visiting family departed, I set about installing the fix that was always meant to be in place.
I pulled up the portion of drain tube that had collapsed and then cut it off to make a new end. We had some of the plastic landscape grids available that were left from previous projects, so I just needed to do a bit of digging to seat the grids level with the ground surface, and then backfill them with stones and dirt to keep them in place.
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It was quick enough work to make me regret that I hadn’t been more disciplined about just getting it done before any damage occurred. The silver lining is that I now have a chance to protect the other high traffic areas before horses will be stomping around the vicinity.
The other spots aren’t as high-risk as this one in the field was. The area where the damage occurred is where the line drains to the surface, so the tubing was getting closer and closer to ground level. Nonetheless, I will be upset with myself it I don’t install the grids in the other locations before something happens again.
Wouldn’t it be nice if I found out the grids were on sale?
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On Fatherhood
Each morning, after I have finished tending to the horse chores, Delilah and I go for a walk around the circumference of our property boundaries. Lately, I have noticed this time is becoming a particularly fruitful one for inspiration and insights.
Yesterday I was thinking about fatherhood. My children are both grown and living their own lives at this point, so I am well beyond the day-to-day responsibilities of raising them. We are now in a phase that I hadn’t really given any thought to: being a father to adult children.
It occurred to me that when I was the age that they are now, my father had been dead for about 4 years. I was 22 when my father died. I don’t have the benefit of having had a relationship with my dad while in my adult years that I can use to inform and guide my decisions as a father from this point forward.
I suppose that could be seen as a feature instead of a flaw, in some regards. However, I’m finding that not having had my father alive for most of my adult life has me now feeling somewhat unschooled about what comes next. I’m sure that the manual that comes with each kid would have provided answers for any questions I had from here on out, if it had been included at the time of delivery.
Thinking back, the only type of feedback I recall receiving from my father during the time our lives overlapped involved indirect grumpiness and griping. If it came at all, direct praise or reprimand was rare enough that I hold few recollections of them. He was not one to tell me he loved me. That level of connection needed to be assumed. We did the best we could with it.
I definitely love my kids and am able to tell them so, though doing it still doesn’t come naturally for me. At this point, I don’t really know how to say or do much more than that, from within the role of being their father. After they left the nest, they became more like friends for me than people whose lives I direct.
Luckily, they are great to have as friends. From here on out, when the time comes for something more than friendly advice from me, I’ll be winging it; hoping to be the father I would like to have had as an adult.
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Relative Something 