Posts Tagged ‘change’
Not Food
Time appears to be assuaging the angst, and moods are lifting for all the inhabitants of our household. Yesterday, for the first time since we brought her home, we let Delilah spend some time in the yard with us, off leash. She did wonderful. Since she was focused on the play, it’s not entirely clear that she even noticed that she was free of the leash.
Before untethering her, Cyndie was tossing the squeaking tennis ball for Delilah to help her practice catching it in mid-air
We continue to work on training her to respond to our commands, and she is showing continuous improvement, thus far.
There was also significant advancement in the process of acclimatizing the dog and cats to sharing house space. The cats are both showing clear behaviors of decreasing the distance they have been maintaining from Delilah, and the dog has actually had moments of calm, or at least, semi-calm, in their presence.
Last night Cyndie was coaxing the cats closer with some treats, and then decided to share the treats with Delilah, too, for behaving civil with the cats in plain sight, and within close proximity. It seemed like a moment of family bliss, and a hint of possibilities for the future.
A bit later, when Lilah was straining on her leash to get after Mozyr, she didn’t even realize that Pequenita had come to sit on the stool just over her head. The dog made a loop around to the other side of the kitchen island, searching for a better look at Moz, and then came back, suddenly appearing surprised to find Nita just sitting there overhead, inches away.
We were pleased to see Nita hold her ground, and even swing to tap away Lilah’s nose when she felt it was getting too close for comfort.
The phrase, “friends, not food” is being repeated often around here lately. I think we are getting the message across.
Just missed.
Ball is hard to spot; in line with the truck front bumper.
Slow Process
Last year, late in the fall, we kicked off our big fencing project, enlisting the services of a fencing company to remove a portion of old fences, including some very old barbed wire that was entangled in years of tree and brush growth. When that work was done, the ground in those areas was a mess of deep divots with tangles of root remnants protruding every which way.
Two giant piles of root bundles and brush were created from the tree debris that was removed. Slowly and methodically, we worked to burn those piles through the winter and spring. Meanwhile, the fencing crew moved on to build new fences, creating our two paddock areas attached to the barn.
The incredibly wet spring disturbed most of our progress and planning, and the areas of dirt and divots that were too muddy to go near, fell to neglect. We ended up leaving them for nature to address. They eventually became less conspicuous beneath a cover of grass and weeds that grew through the summer.
A couple of weeks ago, when the excavator was here to dig the trench for our new water line to the paddocks, they dug two huge holes and buried what remained of the piles of root bundles that never did burn.
Last fall, a large pile of cut logs from those trees was left at the bottom of our back hill for me to split and stack for firewood. Yesterday, I finally got the last of that pile moved up to the top, near the wood shed.
The uneven terrain remains to be dealt with, but 9-months after we started that first phase of our initial fencing project, we are just now feeling close to having completed the entirety of that goal.
Of course, I still have all that wood to split and stack, but that task will get lost in a never-ending exercise of firewood production here. There are a couple of perfectly burnable dead trees waiting to be felled, and a few new ones that came down in the spring snow-pocalypse, that are all awaiting being cut into logs.
More Fence
Yesterday, our fence crew pounded the last posts for the paddocks, and put up a lot of boards. After boards, they will mount one line of wire along the top, which will be able to be electrified. This will discourage horses from chewing on the wood of the fence. Next, they will attach gates, and then complete the installation of the automatic waterer, and we will be out of excuses for not having horses here.
I guess it is time to take care of all the little details we have neglected to worry about until after the fact.
This afternoon, Cyndie is expecting a visit from a person with the local extension service who will review our situation and offer advice on best practices and available resources to support our efforts here. It’s another step in our effort to learn more about what we have gotten ourselves into, even as we forge ahead with plans to establish the infrastructure from which we will operate.
We have stumbled here and there, seeming to get ahead of ourselves sometimes, while allowing a few important details to fade into the background, but the progress we make is part of the way Cyndie works. It gets us moving toward our goal, and forces us to learn on the fly. It creates a bit of mental stress for me, but I can accept it, because if it were up to me, I think we’d be stuck before we even started.
I’d be hung up trying to answer the practically unanswerable questions, trying so hard to avoid a misstep that I’d end up not taking any at all.
Here’s to Cyndie’s brilliant capacity to bring our dreams to life, and our amazing progress thus far!
Progress Applenty
We had a lot of progress yesterday, and one big failure. My favorite little pocket camera has failed me. I did a little research and discovered a Product Advisory was issued that defines the exact failure that I experienced, and I hope to be able to have it repaired at no cost to me. 
Unfortunately, I didn’t get all of the images of progress that I would have liked. Some shaky cell phone images will have to suffice.
I finished getting all the roof panels attached to the wood shed. I hope to be stacking wood in there soon.
We assembled a dog run for Delilah. She spent a little time in there yesterday, 
seemed at ease in the space, and she appears to be doing well, following her surgery last Thursday. She has been a bit more vocal the last two days, barking to get our attention. We were a bit distracted yesterday, so she was justified in trying to redirect our focus back to her.
The crew arrived to finally make some real progress on raising the hay shed. It looks like a game of pick-up sticks. All the vertical posts are buried and braced.
Home Again
photo by Elysa Hays
We made an early exit from the balloon toss competition this year. Elysa snapped this photo, in which I am holding up the remnants of our water balloon. Cyndie made a perfectly good throw, but I messed up the catch. Somebody immediately hollered that it was a classic example of farmer’s hands, since I didn’t execute the soft catch required.
We endured some long traffic backups on the drive home yesterday, due to the heavy volume of holiday traffic. I plan to do some exploring in the future, for the possibility of using back roads to avoid the areas where a turn causes a log jam of vehicles to accumulate.
Our cats didn’t seem to hold a grudge against us for having left them alone, and immediately sought as much hands-on attention as we were willing to give. It appears we won’t have to worry about leaving them alone for a weekend.
We decided to give our attention to the labyrinth for the rest of the day. I used our old reel mower to cut the turf at the lowest setting, while Cyndie did some weed pulling and trimmed the long grass around the perimeter. Then I measured and marked the last of the areas where Cyndie wants to do some planting, along the axis where the entrance is located.
The essential steps that remain after that are, laying markers to establish all the lanes, and putting down some gravel or wood chips on the path. Optionally, we are still considering planting a tree near the middle, and we are hoping to do a bit more work dressing up the grounds immediately surrounding the labyrinth. Cyndie would like to make a bench out of found natural materials, to be located near the entrance, allowing for a moment of pause before embarking on the journey.
Something tells me there will be a permanent urge to continue to refine and enhance the whole thing. It will likely always be a growing and changing space, which will be a reflection of our growth and change with the passing of time.
New Insight
I awoke with a song in my head. It was a Roches song, but I didn’t know which one. I let the short snippet play round and round, over and over, enjoying it thoroughly, but that still left me wanting.
It took only a few tries to locate the right song, “The Scorpion Lament,” from their album, Keep On Doing. Ahhh. It’s like scratching an itch.
While processing all that, something else was revealed to me this morning. It is probably obvious that we would have a list of things demanding attention here on our new property. – I wonder how long I get to refer to this place as ‘new’ to us. I will probably use that term through the first year, since every day is still new to us, because we have not experienced spring or summer here before.
Anyway, regarding that list, …there are a couple of things that seem to me as though Cyndie should take the lead. When I don’t hear of any results on those, I toss out a few hints, occasional reminders and eventually realize I’m simply nagging.
“Yeah, I could do that.” she accommodates me.
With regard to one particular issue, last night I finally asked her if she needed something else to happen first, as if there was some step in a sequence that hadn’t yet occurred. That is a loaded question, in a way, because she is so classically random, …like the way she mows the lawn.
I was becoming confused with her choosing not to act in cases where it seemed to me it would be something that could be quickly knocked off our to-do list, or at least trigger action that can bring subsequent progress. What was holding her up from taking this step? If she was truly random, things should be able to happen at any time.
That’s it! This morning I realized that her not doing things isn’t the result of waiting on a sequence, it is the very manifestation of her randomness. That is why it doesn’t appear to bother her that a particular step gets done by a certain time. Meanwhile, I grow uncomfortable. I want it to happen in sequence, meaning, do this now, and then other things can follow.
It is why I am bugged by the fact that we suddenly find ourselves working on one thing, when I feel like we haven’t yet finished another. I also realized that after we accomplish some of the random tasks, I don’t get the same sense of satisfaction from having done so, as Cyndie does, because I’m still framing it as having been out of sequence.
Eventually, things work out for both of us, one way or another. We are invested in learning from our styles, and in achieving more together than would be possible, each on our own. I know that I have benefited greatly, over and over, as a result of her randomness through the years.
Our success is the reward that comes from the attraction of opposites, which is accomplished by overcoming the difficulties inherent in being so different from one another!
Some Days
Some days, you eat the bear, some days, the bear eats you. I am growing weary of the wetness that has ground our projects to a halt, and have noticed a sense of dread settling in. That bugs me, that sense of dread, because it is so familiar that it carries with it a feeling of being “right,” even though, now I know better. I don’t like how comfortable I am with that feeling of doom and gloom. That is where I spent a good part of my life, so it is not a surprise that my simply deciding to think and act differently, hasn’t immediately erased the years of memory.
There has been some added stress at the day-job, which is pressuring me to the extreme, and looks like it may continue for an unknown duration. The ‘not knowing’ feeds into my stress, partly because it is putting other plans at risk. I was supposed to leave for a week of biking this coming Friday. I have no idea how that is going to work.
Yesterday, after having driven to the city to work on a Saturday, I got home and found Cyndie had accomplished a lot of mowing. That eases my mind a bit. She wasn’t able to get to it all, but at least the place doesn’t look entirely neglected. We can’t make it look as good as we’d like because there are so many obstacles hindering the job. She has to navigate areas of standing water, huge divots from heavy equipment driven on the property, lumber piles, dirt piles, ditches, posts and ropes holding trees up, and the little flags marking where utilities are buried. We’ve lived with those dang flags for almost as long as we’ve been here, back in October. That’s how long our projects have been underway.
This long duration of things being in disarray is one of the stresses that drives me batty. I just want to turn the corner where we can start putting the things we have made a mess of, back in order again.
I found Cyndie working on the back hill when I pulled up to the house. She was working on the dirt scar left by the geothermal boring project. I changed clothes and headed out to help. It struck me that this was just one of a variety of things we have in mind to work on. Last weekend, it was the labyrinth that was on her mind. We didn’t make great progress on that, and the weather was lousy, so we switched to the landscape pond. Now, instead of returning to the labyrinth, we are on the back hill. We just chip away on whatever wins our attention at any given moment.
It all needs to be done, but my concrete-sequential mindset drives me to want to work in order. Cyndie’s tendency toward random, like the way she mows the lawn, allows her to be comfortable working on anything at any time. It is a good exercise for me to just go along with her.
The work on the dirt of the back hill turned out to be grueling. It is far from dry, and we were getting sprinkled on as we worked, eventually turning into a steady rain. The majority of what has been exposed is clay. The first goal was to just break up and rake out the ruts of the tire tracks left by their equipment. Then she wants to plant grass again. I think we are going to want to bring in some black dirt. The clay was just brutal, and stuck to our tools, turning them into useless heavy clubs every few minutes.
I gave up, when it turned from sprinkles to rain, but Cyndie kept at it, and finished the last section before coming in to wash off the mud and get dry.
What a long way we have come from the extreme drought conditions that prevailed when we arrived here last fall.
Intermediate States
We have arrived at the U.S. holiday weekend of “Memorial Day.” For us, this usually means a trip to the vacation getaway of Cyndie’s family, in Hayward, WI, for “Work Weekend.” This is the time when the property gets a major cleaning, the beach gets raked, toys and floatation devices pulled from storage, and boats get scrubbed and hauled down to the lake. The work culminates in a spectacular community feast at the main lodge.
We aren’t there this year. It feels strange.
We have our new property to tend to this spring, and have been granted a pass from contributing our labor to the lake place.
It feels as though everything at our place is hanging in an intermediate state right now. The two biggest projects, the hay shed and paddock fencing, have been stuck in limbo for weeks, waiting for conditions to dry.
I think the geothermal furnace installation looks complete, but I don’t know the status of whether or not it is fully operational. Almost all the work of installation occurred while we weren’t home. Each day last week, I would check progress when I arrived home from the day-job, trying to discern what had been done, and why, and how. As of last night, it looks like everything is wired and plumbed, but we found no indication of the status, nor instructions on operation. They did leave manuals out. I suppose I could do some reading.
We finished digging up the drain line from the septic tank. It looks like the distribution box is disintegrating. It also looks like there are a lot of illogical twists and turns in the plumbing. I have no idea why they originally chose to do it the way they did, but it did work fine, as far as we can tell, for almost 25 years, so we won’t redo the whole thing. The septic professional I have been consulting has located a replacement distribution box, and will also replace the section of cast iron pipe originally used. It being a holiday weekend, that work will not happen until next week some time, weather permitting.
We need to do a lot of cutting of grass, as the growth is so rapid this time of year, it gets long on one end of the property before you finish cutting the other. Julian helped us greatly last weekend, by doing the first cut of the season, but he wasn’t able to mow the back hill, due to geothermal installation that was in process. It had time to grow doubly long, and we knew rain was coming, so we jumped on that chore late yesterday, before it could get any worse. I am happy to report that Cyndie was eager to have a lesson on the operation of the tractor, and then looked to be having so much fun, I might get away with doing a lot less of the grass cutting around here than I previously anticipated.
In a classic demonstration of our different modes of operation, Cyndie took off with glee, mowing around a tree and then wheeling off in any direction, haphazardly picking off areas of long grass wherever it appeared in her view. I am inclined to mow in a line, back and forth, very methodically. I am a bit more timid. She boldly devoured areas that deserved to be cut, but that I would have been hesitant to try with that mower. I was thinking it would require the brush hog attached to the large tractor. She demonstrated otherwise.
Cyndie and I are a great combination. She spotted some mushrooms growing under a dead pine tree in our front yard. I told her they tasted funny and she got all riled up, exclaiming that I shouldn’t eat them until I know what they are. I was teasing her, of course. Comparing images we found online, we are very confident that these are the very popular and definitely edible morel mushrooms.
We started tending to our little landscape pond with waterfall, but finally came to the full realization that they didn’t leave a pump behind when they moved out, so that project is awaiting a purchase. One more thing hanging in limbo. We also may try to test drive a pickup truck this weekend, a task we have been talking about accomplishing for months.
One last thing that has us feeling unsettled is how much we miss our friends, Alane, Dunia, and Marco. Cyndie has been working with Alane and Dunia for much of her Epona apprenticeship training. I met them and Marco last weekend, and in that short time, developed a deep feeling of connection with all of them. We feel a deep longing to have them here with us, and, in turn, they have indicated a desire to have us visit them in Guatemala and Australia. Long distance relationships can be hard, but we truly hope to make these connections flourish.
Our projects may hang in an intermediate state, but our friendships are definitely established.
Matched Set
It feels a little odd to be so pleased with my back yard being torn up, but it has me just tickled to see. The loop field is actually out to the left of this image, underneath the trees of that front section of forest. It is the ideal location, I have learned, as the tree roots draw moisture up, enhancing the effectiveness of the geothermal transfer.
Everything that grows green is bursting forth with gusto right now. I took a short walk in our woods, searching to see if we have any trillium growing, and hardly recognized our trail. I need to be careful about getting lost in there! Unfortunately, I spotted no trillium.
What I did find was, standing water in the ruts of the trail. I don’t think I’ll be driving through the woods for quite a while around here. It is wet, wet, wet.
Inside the house, they got the old furnace ripped out, and already replaced by the backup unit that will function for our new system. Today, they plan to pour the concrete to patch the floor where the lines come up from the loop manifold out in the back yard, and then set the heat pump and other unit side by side on top of that spot.
Meanwhile, I have received counsel on my septic situation that has me pondering doing the digging, myself, to expose the suspected problem area. If I can get it dug up, the guy that pumps it out told me he could make the repairs. The target zone is about 10 feet from the tank, along the pipe that leads to the drain field.
I’m not sure my back will be all that happy with me taking on that chore, but I won’t know until I try. I’ll be working slow, since there is a propane line buried in the area, so I don’t think over-exertion will be a problem.
When that gets completed, we should end up having matching dug-up front and back yards!
Relative Something 