Archive for the ‘Chronicle’ Category
Wilting Weather
One week ago, our little paradise was being buried in beautiful fresh snow. It was falling so fast, I couldn’t keep up with clearing it. I ended up spending almost the entire day last Monday, plowing and shoveling to get dug out.
Now, it is a foggy, sloppy mess, after yesterday’s rain, and a few days of above freezing temperatures. It’s a shame. It seems like such a waste. There was so much potential in all that snow! I didn’t get a chance to even think about making an igloo. I did have visions of starting a ski trail through the woods, though, but that isn’t likely to happen now.
Maybe winter will return. Or, maybe this is the new reality of the warming climate. We’ll get some snow, but not a full winter’s worth. Of course, my sour grapes perspective may be premature. We’ve not even reached the winter solstice yet! If I frame last week’s snow as just a late autumn event, maybe it doesn’t seem so gloomy.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t fit my childhood memories of the good ol’ days. When it snowed in November or December back then, it was the beginning of a winter’s worth.
The cats don’t seem to mind, either way. They are happy to sit at the window and watch snowflakes falling, or water dripping. It’s all good to them.
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Yesterday, Pequenita got distracted from her project of helping me pull the sheets off the bed.
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Mozyr paid no attention when his sister flicked the toy down to him on the floor.
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Contemplating Memory
A wonderful person I supervise at the day-job was addressing the roomful of us, describing an alarming incident that happened on his drive to work. The latch on the hood of his car released while driving full-speed on the interstate highway. He looked at me and made reference to the time my car had the same problem.
My blank stare gave me away.
“Don’t you remember?” he asked.
I didn’t want to completely deny his assertion of the occasion, so, admitted I wasn’t sure. In actuality, I would have comfortably stated that I had never had that experience before in my entire life. Any hint of a memory about such a thing had long ago gone missing.
Minutes later, while visiting the restroom –after he had described how he had gone out to my car with me to look into it (because he and I have the same model car)– I found myself with time to think about it. I exhumed a faint recognition of our both being out at my car, in front of our building, with the hood open. That’s it. That is all I can muster. And, only with the help of his series of descriptions of the event.
I will admit that my immediate reaction, standing at the sink, was to think of how my mother’s memory fractured and faded before our eyes in her later years. Was this my first hint of a pending similar fate for me?
More significant to me was the realization of how wrong I was in my confidence that I had never had that experience before in my life.
In my years of self-analysis since being diagnosed for depression, receiving treatment in the form of talk therapy, and subsequently contemplating my acquired dysfunctional perspectives, I discovered far too many instances where I staunchly defended something in which I held an unreasonable confidence.
I expect that my past depression has robbed me of a lot of memories. At the time, I wasn’t in a healthy enough mindset to record experiences like a mind otherwise would. Historically, I felt that if I had no memory whatsoever about something, then it never could have happened to me. It wasn’t so much a logical deduction, it didn’t feel possible to me that I would have no memory of something.
I no longer possess that same confidence. At the same time, I still need to practice the art of being conscious of the fragility of my perspective of the here and now. It’s something that a few horses will be more than happy to assist me with, I’m sure. Everything fits together rather nicely, don’t you think?
I wonder if I will retain a memory of having had this specific experience and following insight. I’d say that having written about it should be a help, except I tend to forget most of the things I’ve written in the past, so that doesn’t provide much of a confidence boost.
Lesson Learned
Round 2 goes to John, and if I felt more bold than I do, I would declare myself the victor. However, I am calling it a draw.
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The tractor put up a good fight, repeatedly clinging to the snow that would hit the bucket or blade. As my confidence increased, and I became more aggressive, the tractor sensed the opportunity to up the intensity a bit and left me stuck, teetering on the edge of the driveway, with the front wheels down in the soft snow. I had gotten away with the maneuver several times before. You just never know when the big rear wheels will suddenly lose their grip.
I found myself on the edge of giving in, and shut the engine down to prevent making a bad situation worse. I walked back up the driveway, considering my options. Who would I call for assistance, neighbor to the north, or neighbor to the south? Then I decided to try one last trick before seeking outside help. I remembered an old ice cream bucket that Cyndie had found when we were packing for our move.
The contents of that bucket have been with me since 1980, when I worked as a security guard at a shingle manufacturer in Minneapolis, while I was attending tech school. The manufacturer gave away the ceramic granules that go on top of the shingles, which can be used to provide great traction. It is amazing that I kept that bucket around all this time.
Between those granules and my years of winter driving experience, I was able to ever-so-slowly rock the tractor up out of that predicament. As I looked behind me when I finally got it moving on solid pavement, I noticed the neighbor to the north starting down the road toward me with a bucket of his own in his hand. I was able to wave him off and get back to putting the finishing touches on my work.
Next time down to the road, I took a moment to rotate the back blade 18o° and then backed up to push the snow into the ditch. Lesson learned.
Harsh Lesson
Well, that was a fine ‘how-do-you-do?’. My first lesson in plowing the driveway with the tractor was a real trial by fire. It just kept snowing and snowing all day long without a break, and I got my butt whipped. The storm chased me back into the garage where I parked the tractor and threw in the towel. We received over a foot of snow. I don’t know the storm total yet, because I am writing this on Sunday evening and it still hasn’t stopped snowing.
Now, I am able to report that there were some successes to claim, buried in the frustration I was experiencing. I was quickly successful getting the blade attached to the 3-point hitch on the back of the tractor. The tractor started easily on the first try. I had already topped off the fuel supply the last time I used the tractor. I pushed some snow with the loader up front. I quickly discovered that I would need chains. I then succeeded in figuring out the exercise of getting them installed. Not bad on that part, for having no clue about the logistics of the process. I made it all the way to the end of the driveway and back again. I avoided getting permanently stuck.
That’s about where the successes end. Remaining for me to learn are: What the ideal balance of power and speed is. Related to that is, figuring out what RPM the engine should be running at. I need to look into something to keep snow from sticking to the loader and blade. I need to figure out how best to scoop up a pile of snow with the loader. I need to discover the trick to dumping snow out of the bucket, without it landing back on the area I am trying to plow. I need to figure out when to pick up the blade just enough to keep going and skim the top so I don’t get stuck with too much snow on the blade. I need to learn the trick to getting up the steeper parts of the driveway. That is where I got temporarily stuck multiple times, and why I ultimately gave up and went in.
I am most proud that I was able to prevent the situation from getting totally out of hand. I avoided getting the tractor permanently stuck. Unfortunately, I have yet to figure out what to do differently to avoid that bad spot in the driveway. The driveway is pretty narrow, and the edge of the pavement was not visible. When things would start to go wrong, the tractor would slide sideways and put me over to the edge of the paved area.
Monday will be round two of the battle. I am hoping the snow will have stopped falling, and the colder temperatures will give me a firmer base. If I still can’t figure out how to get the job done, the next plan is to seek the services of a professional, …at least for now.
I’ll be looking forward to getting a chance to practice again on a snowfall amount that’s not quite so harsh. Say, maybe 3 or 4 inches MAX! And it wouldn’t hurt if it would be the driest, fluffiest snow possible. A guy can hope.
Got Snow?
It finally fell. Snowflakes are still falling this morning, and Mozyr is engrossed in all the new views out our windows. The increasing accumulation presents many learning opportunities for me. I am learning where the snow collects in the corners where our roof lines meet. I am learning where ice develops as dripping ensues. And, I will soon learn whether I need to put chains on the tractor yet, or not.
In a twist of timing fate, I am alone for these lessons this week, as Cyndie happens to be in Arizona, continuing with her apprenticeship training with horses. On the good side, there will be no one to witness my foibles as I experiment with clearing snow with the back-blade on our tractor. I can tell her it worked perfect, first try. Yeah. Sure.
New Surprise
We’ve been on the new property for over a month now, and are continuing to discover surprises. When one of the contractors was surveying our place to quote some work, I heard him say, “Oh, you have an eagle.”
An eagle? What did he mean by that?
He pointed to it.
For the entire time I have been walking this property, starting with the visits before making an offer, through the many visits after our offer was accepted, then for weeks, (WEEKS!) after we have been living here, I failed to discover a statue of a perched eagle located near the entrance to the barn. Granted, it had been swallowed by growing things, which created a canopy that completely hid the eagle’s profile…
But, it only took this guy a few seconds to spot it as he walked by to view the space behind the barn.
I’m wondering about the origin of the piece, and also the decision for its placement. I’ll be checking with the folks who sold us the property, but wouldn’t be surprised if it was here when they bought the place.
They told us that’s why they left the bear. It was from the previous owner, and our sellers felt it should stay with the property. We are discovering there are multiple things left from previous owners. The old barbed wire fence was here long before the log home was built, which happened in 1990.
It’s been fun discovering little surprises like this one. They continue to make this place seem more and more special every day!
Another Tale
I have repeatedly forgotten to tell a tale about something that played out way back in October, when we were packing to move out of our old house. Yesterday’s post about my precious cereal bowl has finally reminded me to also share this:
Years ago I heard Cyndie commenting about a special pan she liked that her mom had up at the cabin. It was in the summertime and Cyndie had suggested it would be a good Christmas present for her.
It was a double-burner griddle that she was especially fond of. Since she likes to cook using the pan, and I like to eat the things she cooks, it occurred to me that I didn’t really need to wait until Christmas. In fact, since Christmas and birthdays have acquired such obvious expectations for gift giving, I have a strong contrarian interest in doing the opposite, like, giving a gift on a day with absolutely no expectation for one.
I seized the opportunity to order the exact pan Cyndie liked so much, and surprised her with a completely unexpected late-July present.
It was a huge hit, and I reaped many benefits from giving it to her. Definitely a win-win situation all around.
Two summers ago, when Cyndie broke her knee, she began using a cleaning service to help take care of things around the house. After the passing of some time, when she was up and at ’em again, and working in the kitchen, she reported that her pan was missing. After exhausting all other possibilities, she contacted the cleaners to see if they had any memory of having put the pan away somewhere that Cyndie was overlooking.
They had no memory of the pan.
That led to even more exhaustive searches, and some far-fetched hypothesis of who else might have ‘borrowed’ it, however unlikely it seemed. When the pan was finally given up for lost, the unfortunate possibility that one of the cleaners took it, seemed to linger as the only logical explanation.
Last October, when the entire house was being packed up and cleaned out, I received a message from Cyndie. Hooray! She found her missing pan in the bottom of a drawer in the kitchen, beneath enough items that it was completely out of sight.
The wrongly accused cleaning crew were taken off the “evil-doers” list, and Cyndie humbly admitted recognizing that she had been the one to place the pan in the bottom of that drawer. It seemed like such a good idea at the time.
I cannot hold her in contempt for her actions. It made for a good story. Plus, the times that I have stowed something in a special place, and then promptly forgotten where I put it, or what the item was, or even that the item ever existed, are too numerous to count.
We are just happy to have her favorite pan back in action, once again.
Expecting Disarray
If you have been following the discussions that Ian and I have been having in the comments sections, you may have a sense of the decisions Cyndie and I are needing to make soon, regarding fences on our new property. Once we remove something, it’s gone. That’s really tough for me to do, when it comes to trees. I also don’t want to make hasty decisions about moving fences that have been here for generations of ownership.
We just got here!
At the same time, we are receiving the counsel of some very experienced service providers who understand just what we are envisioning, and they are helping to make us aware of things that we will need to address to fulfill the vision we have for this place.
Pile of rubble in the overgrowth
I have often said, before you put things in order, you need to create some disarray. It might look like we are making things worse, but it is a necessary step in the process of making things ultimately better.
To be honest, a part of me wants to leave everything just the way it is. It is so quaint. Part of me feels concern about the impact our changes will have on the neighbor to our south who used to own all this property.
Those are issues I will manage.
Yesterday, I again walked our property –a couple different times, actually– and gained additional insight to what we have here. This is really an amazing place. Cyndie and I are feeling comfortable enough with the plans we are now hatching, that I’m confident my feelings of hesitation won’t last.
Rusty fence post & barbed wire in the bramble
The way the fencing is currently set up, doesn’t really align so well with the natural flow of drainage. By removing the internal fencing, we will be able to improve the layout and maximize the accommodations for drainage. In addition to the small areas of reusable fence that is here, there are greater lengths of old degraded, rusty fence posts and barbed wire hiding throughout, which we really want removed. Once that gets pulled out, some heavy equipment will be used to push dirt around, improving and defining slopes as necessary, and also to begin preparations for an arena.
We are going to take advantage of the opportunity of moved earth to also add some buried water lines, to supply an all-season automatic watering system out in the paddocks.
We are getting excited about the changes, and at the same time, are wary of the shock we anticipate feeling when we actually see what it looks like when the disarray begins.
Fence post and barbed wire on the edge of our woods
New Inspirations
What an enlightening visit we had with the folks from the fence company yesterday. I definitely find myself falling into a trap of treading too lightly when it comes to undoing what is already in place. I tend to focus on what I can add, and shy away from tearing down what currently exists, especially when it comes to trees.
We were given great encouragement to consider removing some of the scrubby trees that have grown in areas set aside for natural drainage. The growth of underbrush in these areas progressively slowed the drainage enough that it has widened out, ultimately taking more area than is needed. If we remove all the growth and put in a narrow array of stone to direct the drainage, we can end up with more useable space and a cleaner look.
What is even more inspiring is, the idea of pulling out the old internal fencing that remains from previous use, which completely opens up possibilities for ways we can redesign a layout that better serves our purposes.
We are pleased with the variety of options for fencing from which we get to choose. We should be able to design something that will be within our budget, serve our needs for containment and safety, and also enhance the appearance of our property. It may not all happen as quickly as we wish it could, but doing it slowly will grant us time to evolve the design in our minds as each stage of progress unfolds. We fully expect to envision more possibilities, once the existing brush and old fence are removed.
It feels a bit unnatural for me to get excited about cutting down natural growth or tearing out a fence that is still in okay condition. It is a great exercise in enabling new creativity. I am inspired! After the visit from the fencing company, I got out in the overgrown pasture land on the diesel tractor and did some mowing with the brush hog.
Logging some time in the tractor seat was a nice way to feel immediate progress from the new inspirations.
Getting Readier
It’s December again! We all know what that means. Winter is coming!
Winter will be the reward for all the folks who fear the world will come to some spectacular end on December 21 this year. They will wake up on December 22 and the world will still be on, and it will be winter. Well, at least for those in the northern hemisphere. For those on the southern half of the planet, happy coming of summer to you.
I always find it difficult to reconcile the thought that people are experiencing the season of summer when we are in the depths of cold and dark.
We are going to celebrate the new month today by getting our very first quote on the job of installing new fencing and creating an arena. I don’t know if it is too late in the season to actually get fence installed, but this is one of the things we really would like to have in place before we bring horses to the property.
Cyndie contacted a local company and a representative is supposed to come out some time this morning. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we will be able to afford fencing that is robust, low maintenance, good looking, and has a long life expectancy. We want to have enough money left over to install an all season, on-demand watering system for the horses. Add to that, a hay shed, and we will be getting dang close to horse-ready.
You might have thought the cats were going to be a source of tales to be told here, but they’ll have nothing on the horses. Unless they finally catch a mouse. If they turn out to be good hunters, I’ll make sure to get them a fair share of “air-time.” When horses arrive, it will be hard for me not to post and write about the most essential of reasons we are here.
