Relative Something

My first day of solo Asher duty was not a pretty one. He got the better of me more than I’d like to admit. It seemed to start well with his perfect off-leash companionship on the morning walk through the woods to the barn. I emptied over 2.5 inches of water from our rain gauges on the way.

Asher waited patiently in the barn for me to finish feeding horses and cleaning up manure. I got him to stay with me on the way back to the house for both of our breakfasts. I confined him to his crate in the house while I mowed down by the road and then let him out with me while I mowed around the barn.

He took advantage of my being fully occupied to find manure out in the hay field and completely smeared his orange vest as well as his body, face to feet. I tried to wash him off despite his vehement objection to the process and ended up feeling like the smeared horse shit just went from him to my soaking wet pants and shirt.

That stink just sticks to everything it touches. I couldn’t wait to get out of my clothes and thoroughly scrub with soap in the hope of clearing that stench out of my nose. Well, Asher’s collar still stinks so the smell just lingers.

In my clean clothes after the shower, I was hoping to avoid contact with the dog for the rest of the night. He took that as a sign he needed to up his antics to get me to give him a hug. First, he got into the bathroom trash and shredded used tissues.

I took him outside where he could chase thrown balls. When he tired of that exercise, I offered to head back inside where he would have the choice of many dog toys. He didn’t want to come in with me so I sat outside with him. He found a stick to play with. Next, he grabbed the Jolly Ball that was in the yard.

He would pause to chew acorns or think about digging into the mole tunnels in the grass. Then he disappeared for a while.

What else could he find to coax me into a wrestling match? Well, there’s always the landscape pond that Cyndie resorted to fencing off to keep him out of it.

He came running into the front yard with the pump intake filter in his mouth and proceeded to shred it before my eyes. When I tried to negotiate an alternative chew option, he knew the game was on.

“Keep away! My favorite game,” Asher says to himself.

All I wanted was to be clean and dry and all Asher wanted was for me to get wet and stinky again.

I went around back and saw he had flattened the netting that was supposed to keep him out of the pond. He figured out how mad I was getting and decided it was time to bolt out of sight. I don’t know where he went but assumed it likely would have something to do with getting dirty or stinky or both.

Honestly, I was prepared to leave him outside all night at that point.

Taking care of the horses is so much easier than watching Asher. He finally returned just before dark and I avoided checking too close before ushering him to his overnight crate so I could be done with him for the day.

Only two more days until Cyndie gets home. I wonder how dirty he can get in that amount of time.

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