Relative Something

I have recently been impacted by reading the words of an acquaintance who wrote about suicidal visualizations. It serves as a reminder that I have experience which, difficult though it may be, can potentially be put to good use. I found a phone number and made contact to offer support.

Doing so involves a certain amount of revisiting a place and time when my thinking was dysfunctional. It is a place I spend a fair amount of energy staying away from. I believe there is a delicate balance of staying in touch with my experience in order to serve others who may face similar afflictions, and maintaining a healthy distance from the period when my mental state was in a dangerous, self-defeating loop.

If I don’t make an intentional effort to put my experience to use for some good, I will be inclined to leave it behind me. It is not something that feels like it makes for inviting reading, so I don’t gravitate toward the topic for posts here. But when the subject comes up, I recognize in myself, a strong motivation to offer my perspective.

I have done some writing this past week on the subject, in support of this friend, and in so doing, have discovered the depth of passion I feel toward the subject. I have a strong belief in the ability to overcome depression in our own minds. Our thoughts can, and do influence the chemicals in our bodies.

Just like the way my negative thoughts fed a pattern of a self-defeating loop, my positive thinking feeds an increasingly healthy response in my physiology.

The subject of depression can be a sensitive one, but my experience is something that may prove helpful to others, and it is something that I feel some responsibility to be able to communicate in a worthwhile way. I’m not sure what that way is right now, but I hope I am present in that moment when it comes and able to rise to the occasion.