Relative Something

It is the last day of the year 2011. I can’t tell if it is a function of my being successful at living in the moment, but I fail to sense any particular significance over the change of the calendar year. Today will feel no different than tomorrow. The number is a rather arbitrary one. How old do people think this planet is? 4.5 billion years? Lets have that be the year. Tomorrow can be January 1, 4.5 billion.

Maybe I’m just frustrated by the struggles Cyndie and I have been having to organize our joined thinking toward logical action for our future dream of selling our house and finding the perfect little horse-hobby farm of our visions. There’s this complication of an all-consuming job she is responsible for in Boston right now, with its unknown duration. We want to return to Portugal to visit our friends there, too. Something seems to be holding Cyndie back on committing to that, and it feeds my frustrations that we aren’t coming up with anything solid I can put my mind to. They are all just possibilities right now.

The real truth to my frustrations is that I have recently come across two things that should be inspirational for me, yet they have both triggered the opposite response in my naturally depressed way of perceiving my reality. We visited friends a few nights ago, in their newly remodeled home. It was a knockout. It was absolutely gorgeous. It was functional and stylish. The guy served as his own contractor and did much of the work himself. I’m not that guy. I need to have such a person in my back pocket. When I see a problem around the house, I just pull out the guy and he looks the problem over and sees the solution. If he can’t fix it himself, he knows who to call. And he gets a good deal on the price to do the work, too.

Then I came across something that cut even closer to my situation. Someone who wasn’t that guy, but built his own low impact woodland home in just 4 months using simple tools like a chainsaw and a hammer and chisel. He wasn’t an architect, nor even a builder or carpenter. He used natural materials and spend about $4,700. He is a fine artist. Photography and graphic design. He is Simon Dale.

I should be thrilled to find this. There is certainly much there that I admire. But it blows my mind. Short-circuits my logic wiring. Instead of feeling inspired to grab a hand tool and set off on my own adventure, I become paralyzed by the sheer unbelievableness of such accomplishments.

I have no idea what 2012 will bring for me. I’m a guy in my 53rd year on this planet. I think I’ll take some pictures, write some thoughts. See what comes of it.