Relative Something

I am not very picky about the toothpaste I use. I bet I haven’t bought my own toothpaste in 30 years. I just use whatever is in reach. It is a good thing that Cyndie usually has toothpaste available.

For as long as I can remember, any toothpaste I have found has had claims on it about whitening. In my experience, that is a false claim. For all the good it has done to advertise ‘whitening’ as a feature of toothpaste, they may as well have had ‘heightening’ on the label, as well. Why is it that toothpaste gets to declare that it makes teeth whiter? It seems to me, they could advertise that toothpaste makes you smarter, thinner, and reduces body fat, too. But it wouldn’t do any of those things. Similar to the way that ‘whitening’ toothpaste hasn’t made my teeth look any whiter in all the years I have been using it.

Meanwhile, have I remembered to mention that reading this blog will make your hair form dreadlocks? Maybe I should be looking for a career in the advertising industry.