Relative Something

Ralph Forest Hays ~ 1919-1981

It is a great honor to be a father to my children. Their pains cut to my core and their successes bring immeasurable joy. Today in the US, it being the third Sunday in June, people are issuing the ubiquitous greeting of “Happy Father’s Day” to dads everywhere. One of the things this does for me, is it reminds me that it has been almost 30 years since I have had my father in my life. During the entire time I have been in the role of father, my own dad has been reduced to fragments of memory and a variety of snapshots. He was my primary influence, for better and worse, during the most influential years of my development. Then he was gone during the years I was trying to reenact the role he played for me. It has been an interesting challenge to unravel the traits that I unconsciously adopted and to strive to fill the voids in areas of inadequacy. Regardless, the strong bond of connection maintains a fascination for the man who was my father, and it leaves me with an ongoing feeling of loss and longing for the relationship. I would like to be able to tell him, “Happy Father’s Day” today.