Relative Something

This morning’s dream, before I was able to become lucid enough to realize I was dreaming it, had me discovering that my clan had showed up at an event at the dream-home* of my wife’s family. Even my deceased mother was there, except she appeared to have someone else’s haircut and was an equal mix of my mom and my wife’s aunt. But that’s beside the point.

In the dream, a feeling of great comfort coursed through me at the sight of my clan. It wasn’t a moment of being glad to be able to exclude others, it was a feeling of comfort for the familiarity and unconditional acceptance my siblings represented. The social stress I was unaware I had been tending, was revealed by the contrasting relaxation I sensed when suddenly standing among my people. It’s a powerful drug.

With the exception of outliers who try, you can’t choose to be a member of a clan to which you don’t qualify. I cannot be included in the clan of the female gender, or the clan of a different race. Groucho Marx was insightful enough to be discouraged about being in a club that would accept people like him as a member.

We can endeavor to define ourselves by the groups to which we do not belong, as well as by those we align. I am easily defined by my affinity for all things Apple®. I would be just as happy defined as not being a PC user. I am thrilled to be considered a member of the Brainstorms virtual community. I am more than satisfied with not having a Facebook page.

I live a pretty insular existence when it comes to clans that don’t suit my fancy. I don’t watch or listen to things they broadcast and I don’t read the things they write. When animosity threatens the peace and tranquility of my group, there is always the option to zoom out the perspective to the point that tribes become one. We are all members of the human race. If we suddenly found ourselves in conflict against an invading horde of giant ant creatures, our differences would be cast aside, exposed for the petty constructs they are.

Still, a feeling remains that if I was among throngs of humans, in a battle against giant ant creatures, and I came upon my brothers and sisters, I would experience that same drug of great comfort coursing through me, and I would battle just a bit harder as a result.

*(that morph of a previous house they actually lived in, and some kind of house of mirrors, which so often happens in a dream.)