Relative Something

It is often said to ‘write what you know.’ It is not exactly a topic that I feel particularly inspired to write about, but currently, real pain is what I know. Diagnosis: Pleurisy.

I will always remember the words of my father, when he described his experience of having a heart attack. He told me it was unlike anything he had ever previously known; a pain he would never wish on a worst enemy.

If what I am experiencing were occurring on the left side of my body, I would say it must be a heart attack. It is most likely a virus that is having its way with me right now. Started on Sunday as dull, persistent pain in the back of my neck, from the back of my head down to between my shoulder blades. Nothing I did seemed to lessen the discomfort. I was able to play soccer on Monday morning, but by the time I got to work, the muscle aches had migrated to my entire trunk.

Yet, muscle ache was the only complaint I had. No specific headache, sore throat, congestion, runny nose, cough, or stomach upset. Tuesday, the pain began to settle into my chest, specifically the right side of my rib cage. By the time I got home from work, I needed something to ease the pain and allow me to catch my breath. I went for the bottle of ibuprofen, every 4 hours. That left me in desperation at about 2 a.m.

I awoke to such discomfort that it was almost impossible for that next dose of ibuprofen to put a dent in the pain. Each breath is cut short by a stabbing pain, long before I can accomplish the relief of the fill of oxygen I frantically desire. And with each jolt of anguish, there is a residual throb of ache that radiates up and out my collar bone, down my arm, up through my neck and into my jaw. I imagined a heart problem or a blood clot, and with Cyndie out of town, wondered how I would know whether this was something that deserved a call to 9-1-1.

A little research into pleurisy allowed me to settle my fears and, when the ibuprofen finally dulled the worst of the stabs, fall back to sleep while sitting in an upright position. I soaked in a hot, hot shower for a long time in the morning, then decided I could manage a day a work. It just so happens, the boss is out of town on vacation for a week and I am left in charge. I was gingerly able to respond to the particularly large volume of issues awaiting me in the email inbox. It was after lunch when I got surprised by an involuntary cough reflex. It felt like something in my chest ripped.

I let out a curse and struggled to retain any composure. I went up to the front office and tried lying on the carpeted floor. It only hurt worse. I was really panting at this point, and when found by a coworker, I knew her admonishment to get to urgent care was the only logical choice.

Diagnosis: Pleurisy. Unfortunately, there is nothing they can do to solve my problem. The virus has to take its course. At least they are able to offer assurance for a number of critical ailments that it is NOT. I came away with a prescription for something with a tad bit more oomph than the basic ibuprofen I was relying on before. But, it doesn’t prevent that inevitable pain inflicted by those involuntary muscle reactions of a cough, hiccup, sneeze, or even an awkward swallow. Stabbing pain.

I really hope I never have to experience being conscious during a heart attack. Does that count as positive thinking?