Archive for November 2009
This Moment, Anyway
Sometimes I find myself surprised by the dichotomies I come to realize about myself. I don’t know why it should surprise me. I have been known to express a belief that all things are balanced with a polar opposite, in one way or another. When I become aware of it within my own personality or behavior, why does it surprise me? Go figure. As I write this, I am feeling a new awareness about the different ways I actually do live in the moment, regardless my more obvious pattern of usually allowing myself to be more focused on either my past, or the future.
One easily recognizable aspect of this part of me which resides in the moment, is related to my writing. I really struggle to comfortably write for publication deadlines that are months or years into the future. Heck, even emails leave my computer with me wanting them to be read as fast as they arrive at their destination. It’s not that I produce anything that is particularly time sensitive; no, it’s more that my having created some message at a particular moment in time is most closely associated with my mind at that moment. Maybe that reveals something about me. Does my mind really change all that much that the things I write about might not stand the test of time? Probably not. I’ll rack that one up to the possibility of a lack of confidence.
Yesterday, I spent some time engaged in projects in the garage that likely spawned some of the thinking about how I behave more in the moment than I am aware. I make all these attempts, year after year, to arrange things in an organized manner to facilitate a logical and efficient future use. All for naught. For the most part, I don’t retain any functional recollection of the places I store things, or for that matter, even remember what the things are that I have. When I set about tending to some chore, I take on whatever task appears before me with whatever tool I can locate in the moment. Rarely, if ever, do I benefit from some plan I had in mind at some motivated, constructive phase of my past.
So, in a way, I am both organized, and randomly spontaneous all at the same time.
untitled, just because
and then
there was the time
and time again
when things didn’t go
quite the way
we did intend
as if what we are waiting for
isn’t simply hiding
just around the bend
in a place that’s twice as real
as the one inside our heads
unlike what we read in books
about any wild thing
never happening to us
that we compare with our life
of normal happenstance
harrowing familial dance
and every daily grind
to see the pieces we use
to frame our reference
to build a psychic fence
we know we have to climb
from which we then feel fear
for what we might see
on the other side
of the inside of ourselves
we hardly intend to reveal
even though we always do
every single day
by saying what we say
and saying it in a way
that paints us every day
with our own broad brush, okay
Days Gone By
Ah, the good old days. Not only do they not make things the way they used to, there are a lot of activities that we just don’t get to do anymore. I can remember the days we raked leaves into piles and burned them. It smelled great, …while it polluted the air. I don’t recall there having been warnings not to drink water from the garden hose. We did it all the time. We used to let our pets roam the neighborhood without a leash and I don’t recall anyone following their dog around with a bag and a scoop. Well, I guess there are still some people that don’t clean up after their pets to this day, based on the many piles appearing on my property –even though we don’t own a dog.
We used to get rides from strangers by hitchhiking. As kids, we were allowed to ride bikes without wearing helmets. We played around in the back of the station wagon without wearing seat belts.
I think most people have accepted these changes that have evolved over time without really expecting to be able to have things be the way they always were.
Sometimes, I wonder about some other activities of the past that people are still set on keeping alive. Take hunting, for example. In many families it is a big tradition. I can understand a desire to have things be the way they have always been. But as the population continues to swell, and wilderness shrinks due to development, there are more people eligible to hunt every year, and on a continually shrinking amount of available land. It gets harder and harder to maintain the family tradition in the manner it has historically been held. I’ve heard hunters argue that outsiders shouldn’t be allowed to hunt in areas where they have no history. There is a desire to maintain ones tradition, but this may be one of those activities that is destined to fade into the past.
I don’t expect hunting to go away completely, but I see it changing, most likely changing enough that it will become one of those things where the memory of the way it used to be done, hardly resembles what it will evolve into as it adapts to the 21st century world.
Although there are many who lament the changes that come with the passing of time, plenty of the changes are for the better. I remember a time when I couldn’t go out to hear music, or even watch a Vikings game at the old Met Stadium, without coming home smelling like an ash tray. Remember making ash trays out of clay in grade school as gifts for our parents? Ah, the good old days.
Antidote Needed
AAAAauuuuggghh! I’m sorry, I can’t write today’s post. My eyes have been damaged by seeing a Christmas commercial in the beginning of November. Actually, I did already see one in October, but it didn’t have the same effect because it was so ridiculously early that I didn’t even believe what I was seeing. Now, having seen another one, reality is confirmed and it has burned all the way into my head.
The thing is, though, I can’t tell if the ads are for Christmas this year or are already being broadcast for next year, in advance. If I could find an antidote to the over-commercialization of a religious holiday, I would gladly trade a flu vaccine to gain access to it.
Sportsmania!
It is that time of year again. Floorball is starting up! So now, in addition to my three-mornings-a-week indoor soccer, I will have one evening per week of floorball competition. I hope I am up to it. That is an awful lot of running around. I have often said that there is no way I see myself doing a fraction of this amount of running without having a ball to chase around for incentive. In the end, it is not the running that is most taxing, it is the sudden stopping and frequent changing of direction. I’m pretty sure there is a line to be crossed between the activity being good exercise for a body and the activity being too much stress, but I have no idea how closely I operate to that line. I’m afraid I will discover it after I have over-stressed something like a knee or an ankle.
In addition to all the activity I am participating in, I have also been offered two more opportunities to go see the Gophers play football in their new stadium this season! This Saturday looks to be an exciting opponent in Illinois and it will be a day game with pleasant weather being predicted. Sweet! But that’s not all. I have also been given tickets to see the Gopher basketball team the following week on the new floor installed at Williams Arena.
It’s probably a good thing that the Vikings have a bye this weekend or I might exceed a reasonable quota of all things sports related with so much happening in such a short span of time. At least I won’t have to worry about the World Series calling for any more of my attention since the team from New York claimed that championship last night. That’s good, because I need that time for watching college and NHL hockey now, anyway.
So much sport, so little time. Feel free to follow my example. Get out there and play something! It’s a great way to make exercise fun. I think playing a sport makes watching sports a much more rich experience. The two do go together quite well, complimenting each other nicely. But be careful. You might discover it to be a bit addicting and then you run the risk of becoming a Sportsmaniac! But I don’t know anything about that. I barely dabble in sports…
Pencil Geek
Of all the things in the world that deserve our attention, I hate to admit that I get hung up on things like pencil lead. When the lead in a mechanical pencil runs out, there is no way to use the final half-inch of lead. It goes against my sense of frugality to just discard a perfectly write-able piece of lead. It seems to me that with the technology available to send rockets into space and land people on the moon without crashing into satellites that are beaming cell phone conversations about what someone posted on their Facebook page, there should be some way to design a device that holds the lead, allowing it to write all the way to the end!
But it occurs to me, now that I am writing about it, that there is probably more lead than my little remnant piece, discarded every day when traditional wood pencils reach the end of their useful length. And in most of those, the lead is of an even bigger diameter, so there is a lot more waste occurring with the classic yellow number 2 test-taker. Relative to that, my mechanical is a real eco-friendly trend setter after all! What a relief. Now I can turn my attention to more significant problems like why it is so difficult sometimes to evenly engage the two-way zipper on my jacket, and thus allow it to pull all the way up. It is a rare occasion I get it on the first try.
Silver Lining
Why is the sound of another person chewing, so discomforting to hear sometimes? It doesn’t always come across as extremely irritating, but when it does happen –and I’m guessing it is when an ambient quiet allows it to become particularly noticeable– it is torture to endure. Personally, I find it very difficult to complain to the offending ‘person’ (who else other than my spouse do I find myself with, in a quiet situation where only one of us is eating?), because it could just as often be me masticating while my partner suffers the onslaught of offensive sounds. Quite frankly, she has been much too forgiving about pointing it out to me when I am the one doing the chewing.
I don’t know what it is about the crunching and smacking sounds resonating from within someone else’s head, that seems to strike such a nerve within me. One aspect that confuses me is why it can sound so amplified at times. It’s as if it is being artificially enhanced somehow. It doesn’t really matter what the food ends up being when the situation arises. I’ve noticed it to occur whether it is soft food or something more obviously crunchy. It is just plain unappealing to listen to food getting processed inside the mouth. It seems like all of a sudden I’m hearing fingers scratching a blackboard.
I wonder why I never get that feeling when I am the one eating. Obviously, everything sounds different from inside our own heads. But I would think that the munching sounds would be that much louder and thus more reason to be annoying inside our own head. Whatever it is that makes it such an irritant, I can see a silver lining nestled within the whole phenomenon. It provides a wonderful opportunity for me to practice the kind of diplomacy that maintaining a long-term relationship truly requires.
Good, Bad, & Ugly
The new stadium on the campus of the University of Minnesota is indeed a wonderful thing. It was a great experience for me to be back out under the elements to watch football. I do not deny that it will be more taxing to watch a game when the weather is miserable, but the number of days of misery will be out-numbered in the long run. Last night was a little chilly, but far from too cold. I found it ideal. The game, however, was a lot more ‘trick’ than ‘treat’.
Every time I attend a game in person lately, I am made more aware of how conditioned to seeing football games on television I have become. I expect to see every play multiple times and from multiple angles. I’m guessing, had I been given that opportunity last night, that I wouldn’t have such a bad opinion of the decisions the referees were making. But live, in real time, what we saw didn’t always align with the calls being made, and combined with the mistakes the home team was making, it produced a pretty ugly, sometimes scary evening.
It is only fair that I reveal that plenty of my pleasure over the beautiful stadium comes as a result of being the beneficiary of receiving premium level tickets that include access to a club room with soft cushion seating, a fireplace and refreshments, where you can warm up when necessary and view the action on large flat-screen televisions. The hot chocolate was HOT and large and a very welcome treat I was taking advantage of, just at the right time there, so I didn’t have to witness the opponent’s kick-off return for touchdown at the start of the second half.
In the end, the home team prevailed and all was deemed a great success. I may be basking in the initial gush of glee over the new stadium, but right now, I am feeling as though I would be happy to go there and watch college football whether my team performs admirably or not. There were a lot of years I witnessed embarrassing performances in the Metrodome; enough that I chose to finally give up season tickets that my father had initially purchased in 1944. Sitting through ugly Gopher football in that dome was more than I could tolerate. Being high above the field, on campus, with a view down 4th Street SE, in the Minnesota autumn air, is anything but ugly, regardless what caliber of sport is being performed on the field below.
Relative Something 