Relative Something

There are so many possible truths in everything we know and see and hear. I would say the same regarding the ideas we pose about things we cannot know. I am comfortable with the presence of mystery. At the same time, I do enjoy solving a good puzzle. I am satisfied knowing there are differing possibilities within me. And not only in me; I tend to find more comfort in an authority figure who reveals some level of uncertainty about things, as opposed to professing an unwavering conviction of only one possibility.

When I was in tech-school, one of my instructors was an older man with a significant number of years military experience. He brought most of his former military practices to his teaching, which didn’t endear him to the majority of the students. One day, he began to draw out a very complicated electrical circuit on the board in the front of the room, and describe the way it worked. It just so happened that this very circuit was also in our text book. Everyone in sight had their books open, following his progress with what was depicted on the pages. After he had a majority of the circuit depicted, he made an error. We patiently waited while he tried to explain the function, expecting he would discover the problem as he talked it out. But he didn’t. He got stuck. So we tried to help him. We had the complete circuit right in front of us and his mistake was obvious. He refused our help and refused to admit that he was wrong and he became upset with us, resorting to his manner of discipline which involved some drill sergeant styled shouting.

It was really difficult to receive the remainder of his lessons, after that day.

I don’t know that I recognized it at the time, but I did take a lesson from that experience which I’m confident contributes to my interest in being able to be uncertain about something and have that be okay. However, one of the side effects of that is, I sometimes struggle to make a decision. I have a story about that, too.

One day a coworker of mine asked me a very blunt question. He said, “Does your ass ever hurt?”

I was a bit taken aback by this. Ever hurt? “What?!” I had no idea what he was after.

He asked the question again, but this time he added, “…from sitting on the fence?”

I was developing a reputation for not being able to make a decision. It was a perfectly logical question, after he provided the qualifier. A little earlier that day he had been verbally jousting with a guy he was working with on an assembly project. As I was passing by, they called me in to help settle their conflict. They asked me if the part that one of them had mounted was straight or not. I studied it for a moment and offered the conclusion that it looked straight to me. That brought a shout of victory from one party. But then, just as I was turning to walk away, I said, “But if it is off at all, it is leaning to the right.”

I left their area to renewed arguing… “See, I told you so!”

That question, later, about my ass ever hurting, was entirely appropriate, given my inconclusive contribution to their conflict. It was a classic representation of my difficulty with making a firm decision. I appreciated the humor, as well as the not so subtle message it conveyed.