Archive for October 2009
Cycling Psychodrama Dream
Yesterday I enjoyed a lunch date with friends whom I most often see at our annual week-long bike trips, and for some strange reason this morning, I woke from a classic themed dream about being ill-prepared at the start of one of those trips. In a way, the details don’t matter, because the general impression of anxiety, over things not being in order, form the bulk of the focus, but the details do tend to have a certain entertainment value.
It began with the normal brief bike ride from the first overnight camp where we park our cars to the place where we will have breakfast. I found myself riding off of pavement, intending to cut a short distance across grass, but suddenly the area was too soft and wet to ride easily and even though others made it just fine, I ended up doing a loop in a struggle to navigate the situation and remain upright. I was not in the best gear to achieve this and wasn’t prepared to shift. How entirely dream like.
Then the dream kept going toward that ever more extreme pattern of bizarre. I was leaning my bike to park it in order to join everyone for breakfast when I noticed the back wheel was way too far forward and closer inspection revealed the crank and pedal were no longer attached to the chain ring (I’m sure this was a subconscious homage to my good friend, Gary Larson, who actually suffered such a fate while riding on the trip last year), and then as if that wasn’t enough, the right half of my handlebar was no longer attached; as if it was a two-piece part to begin with.
From there the dream became a challenge of trying to locate the Penn Cycle repair van, which was outside some doors for a moment and then gone as if he had left to get some breakfast of his own. It continued with my walking in to try and tell someone my situation and that I wouldn’t be riding the first leg. Then I was trying to navigate the breakfast with more classic dream characteristics of not being able to find what I’m looking for, and instead, being continually presented with additional challenges like suddenly being outside in my socks and then perched on a flimsy staircase where the first step appears to be straight down and too far for my reach…
All in all, pretty entertaining little dramas, from the perspective of now being awake and able to recognize they aren’t real. I don’t have any planned trips currently on my mind, so who knows what it is that transposed my wonderful lunch with cycling friends into the cycling dream of anxieties. I think it is a good thing that the weather has turned a bit too chilly to interest me in going for a ride for a little while now.
It Snow Surprise
It’s no surprise that we got a little dusting overnight. We were well warned of the possibility. That first snow really has a lot of impact. As I remember childhood, there was always a wallop of excitement connected with it. As an adult, I tend to find myself more often surrounded by those who express a lot less appreciation for the onset of our snow season. I still feel the child-like glee over the white stuff.
It was usually the ski bums who displayed the “Think Snow!” buttons or bumper stickers (or custom denim shirts embroidered by their sister), but I never did any downhill skiing. It didn’t matter; I loved everything else about winter and always felt, the more snow, the better. Over the years it has become apparent to me that the primary people who complain about winter, do so because the only experience they have with snow is trying to drive in it or shovel the stuff so they can drive in it.
Get out and play in it like we did when we were kids and you can realize, again, that vital energy of excitement that is unleashed when flakes start falling.
Balance of Passions
Speaking of something relative, where does one choose a point of reference to judge a life to be appropriately balanced? There are many ways a person could view my level of activity as broad, and as many, or more, ways to perceive it as limited. I occasionally ponder what it would be like to play my guitar for hours every day. I could say the same thing about cycling, pursuing photography, creating sculptures, making jewelry, writing poetry, reading and consuming movies to my fill, backpack camping, landscaping my property, composing and recording songs, creating videos, researching genealogy, balancing rocks, all the while practicing being a husband, father and employee. None of my passions receive the attention they deserve. I live the concept of being skilled at a variety of things, master of none.
One of the most tactile examples for me is with regard to playing guitar. For every extended spell of days where I enjoy prolonged opportunities to practice and explore playing my guitars, there are equal, and usually longer, dry spells where I don’t even pick one up. Days are just too full and each one flies by without space that gets claimed by the guitar-playing compartment of me. The ever so valuable callouses that develop on my finger tips will peel away, leaving me with the need to rebuild them again next time I play. That’s really a bummer. I wonder what my playing would be like if I had been able to play for hours a day. I wonder what it would feel like to master something.
I am discovering that as much as I thought I knew about being a father, I have been overlooking that you don’t stop being a father just because your children reach the age of adulthood. I still need to learn what kind of dad I am going to be to adult children. Trial and error, same as I did the previous 23 years. Now that would be something to master: the art of continuing to learn from my errors. I certainly get plenty of opportunities to practice.
Thinking Baseball
Last spring, you may have noticed some of my posts included references to my watching Stanley Cup playoffs, and now during baseball post-season, I think it’s fitting that some mention of ball games finds a way into my writing. When a game reaches the level of importance where losing will end the season, there is an incredibly heightened viewing experience to be had. During the regular season, the majority of games will only appeal to the most genuine of fans. It is hard to say whether the network television coverage changes, during post-season play, enough to make the difference, or if the inherent value of the outcomes is responsible for the extraordinary sense of drama that materializes within each minute detail; from a coach’s signal, to a player’s expression, the closeup of a foot reaching base to beat a tag, or the anxiety of the fans. Regardless, the entertainment value to be found in a game that stays close during playoffs is one of my great pleasures.
My Twins outlasted the Detroit Tigers Tuesday to earn the post-season, but now are immediately up against the strong Yankee franchise in a best-of-five game series. Already down one game after last night’s opening loss, my home team is an incredible underdog to advance. That’s okay with me. I do better as a fan when my expectations are not high.
Even though I’m pretty much just a fair-weather baseball fan, I have great respect for ball players for how much mental discipline they are able to exercise in controlling themselves under the intense pressure of game situations. I don’t think they get as much credit for that part of the sport as they deserve. I wish I could think as fast, and act as quick, and stay as focused during some of the intense moments of my day.
Anticipating This Moment
I am of the opinion that anticipation of an event is more exciting than the event itself, even as that conflicts with the lofty objective of practicing living in the moment. More than anywhere else, for me, that is the case with spectator sports. One of the reasons I enjoy football most, out of all the sports I watch, is that the games happen once a week and there is all that time in between for anticipation to build. When games are so plentiful that they happen night after night, like baseball, or many times a week like basketball and hockey, not only is there not much time to build anticipation, but win or lose, there will be another game in a day or two, so each individual outcome ends up appearing to have less importance.
I remember, not all that long ago now, a time when I first recognized that even the game itself, as it was happening, was failing to live up to the excitement I felt in anticipation prior to the start. This phenomenon becomes most vivid if the game of the moment ends up being a dud; either not living up to expectations, or just becoming entirely lopsided – usually in the direction against the team of my affection. But I’ve even sensed it during a game that was going well. It exposes, in a dramatic example, my shortcomings regarding living in the moment, as I already sense that the prior excitement is over, once the game gets underway. There is a bit of a let down when what I’ve been looking forward to finally arrives and it is already slipping away as the minutes run. My mind has neglected to pause and enjoy, and is already jumping ahead to the hours in the future, when the game I’ve been waiting for all week, is done and gone.
If you consider the way movies and television programs are advertised, you will recognize that the marketing is geared perfectly for someone in this mindset. It has become quite common to begin advertising big movies months, and sometimes even years, prior to their release. Once the movie arrives, ads almost disappear as the attention is quickly shifted to the next big release down the line. Television networks do the same thing, saturating their broadcasts with ads for programs or sporting events they will show in the future. Then when the big moment arrives, right in the middle of the feature event, there will be new ads for some different future event. Even though this game or show isn’t even over yet, the attention is already being directed to some other target for us to build our anticipation toward. I’m a sucker for it.
Given this insight, I’m trying to imagine myself right now as having thoroughly anticipated this very moment and not some other future moment that hasn’t arrived yet, and then seeking all the joy and satisfaction I can harvest from this moment, as it happens. Even if the moment ends up being a dud.
Fall Convertible Adventure
Well, the spell of wet weather didn’t entirely break, but we didn’t let that stop our convertible expedition. Yesterday, tops were up more often than down, and trees were more green than red/yellow/orange, but we made up for all that with food. Cyndie started us out with a taste bud temptation of her fresh baked caramel rolls. Then we headed west toward Waconia and stopped “At the Farm,” met proprietor, Donna Frantz, and bagged most of the goods we purchased for eating later, but nibbled a few complimentary apples that she so kindly offered.
After that, it was north in the direction of Watertown and a stop at the fascinating Mudd Lake Furniture Co. It was their Octoberfest sale! We didn’t actually have any food at this stop, but couldn’t resist a few of the surprisingly discounted fancy glass items. Next stop turned out to be the Woodland Hill Winery near Delano. Lots of treats to be had here, and we almost polished off the cheese curds while listening to the live music outside, and stopped short of making s’mores at the fire pit. We 
wanted to save some room for the next stop.
This all set us up for the grand finale in Delano, the Peppermint Twist Drive-in restaurant for burgers, fries and malts. Most of this day was plotted on the fly and each spot, and the entire drive, turned out to be as perfect as we could ask, except for one thing: clouds. A sunny day would have made this adventure ideal. 
Pave Paradise?
This morning I witnessed a broadcast that struck a chord with me in a variety of different ways, and I became aware of a sort of dichotomy that I have always been drawn toward. I believe it is a pretty universal trait, but it gets manifest in as many different ways as there are types of people in the world. I am attracted to creative endeavors that are in some way atypical, and while uniqueness is a valuable component of what draws me, at the same time, I enjoy being able to share the experience with others. I wonder if there is some point where what appeals to me becomes too conventional as a result of being over-shared?
One rather over-simplified example of how this might be depicted would be with popular music. When I first hear a song that appeals to me, I am moved to want to hear it again. But if the song becomes popular and over-played, it becomes annoying. Another example that comes to mind is our getaway spot near Hayward, Wisconsin. 30 years ago it was a much less developed community with a bit of a tourist town flavor of local shops and seasonal attractions. I loved escaping there and sharing it with friends. Over the years, many others who loved it and shared it with friends have contributed to what has become a traffic jam of commuters rushing to get up to a place that is sprouting commerce that looks like every suburban community we drive through to get up there. I do still love it, but it just isn’t the same.
I have to be careful to balance my desire to share what appeals to me with my attraction to that aspect of it being unique. To have, or to eat, my cake?
Local Sports Smorgasbord
There isn’t much to planning a day’s activity when it is a Saturday and predicted to be cool, rainy, and windy. Oh, and it’s October. College football on television! Remember back when Gopher fans had a dome to snuggle in to watch football in this kind of weather. I hope they all rise to the occasion and revel in the excitement of watching the game being played outdoors. I do prefer the outdoor option and I would muster the energy to face it, if I was going. However, I don’t have tickets to today’s game so I will be wrapped up, toasty on the couch, with a lap blanket and a fire in the fireplace to watch the border battle against the Badgers.
There are other exciting sports happening in the Twin Cities this weekend, too. The Twins are closing out their 28-year tenure in the Metrodome, with a series against the KC Royals, chasing Detroit for the Division title. Marathoners from near and far are here for the 28th annual Twin Cities Marathon on Sunday. Then on Monday night, the NFL Vikings host rival Green Bay. That will be a nationally televised prime-time broadcast of the game in which former Packer quarterback, Brett Favre, lines up wearing a purple jersey for the first time against his former team.
All this combines to create a nicely energized feeling around town. With a little luck, the current spell of wet weather will break ever so briefly on Sunday to fit with our plans to take the convertible on a drive in search of some fall color with our friends. I don’t think there are very many ‘top-down’ days left in the year. Hey, I might not be outside to watch the Gopher game, but I’ll be outside for a late-season convertible trip! Weeeehaaa!
Moving Pictures of the Mind
There is a long, slow strand of thought coming from one side or other of my brain that for the most part belies my ability to capture in words, not just written, but even verbally–with the natural advantages of inflection, and immediacy of course correction available in the attempt at telling. I wonder how often it is images and thoughts such as these that inspire motion picture directors to create some of the works they do. At the same time, I am inclined to wonder if the thoughts that have been floating in and out of my mind’s eye are born of some previous theater experience I am co-opting with my own personal screenplay as partial content for the current scenarios being projected on the screen in my head.
The movie that might result from an attempt to capture my visions of late would probably have a lot of actors who have no big screen experience trying to pull off a mix of Bourne Identity/Pulp Fiction/Mr. Mom/School of Rock/Rookie of the Year/Toy Story/Galaxy Quest/Harold and Maude/Sound of Music without the convenience of a screenplay. I hope they have a good special effects person.
Relative Something 