Relative Something

*this* John W. Hays’ take on things and experiences

Really Me

with 8 comments

I watched a movie last night about a person who went undercover, and the discomfort it created for me led me to realize how much I prefer being authentic. You can ask me a question about my life and I won’t have to make up an answer, I can tell you what really happened. Or at least, the version of what happened that my mind conjured up for storage in my memories. I fully admit to the fallibility of my perceptions.

If you were to ask me what happened in my life 34 years ago today however, I would have no problem recalling the beautiful blue sky and warm sunshine that broke a chain of much less lovely weather during the week prior. cajw81I remember feeling a bit disoriented by all that was going on around me, because much of it was all about me. It was also all about Cyndie, as that is the day we were married in the Noerenberg Garden park on the shore of Lake Minnetonka, in Wayzata, MN.

For too many of the ensuing years, I have been the target of much grief and good-natured ridicule from my wife for the time I sought clearance from her to go away for a weekend of mountain biking with friends, having not put two and two together to determine it would mean I would be gone over our anniversary. It was an innocent oversight, but not one a husband should ever make if he doesn’t want to hear about it over and over, for many years after.

If there is any matrimonial justice in the world, a wife who chose to schedule a week away with her friends on the far side of the country during her wedding anniversary weekend would be setting herself up for an equal number of years of grief from her husband, but I don’t think it works that way.

If you happen to read this today, my dear, Happy Anniversary!

Now, if someone asked me what happened 27 years ago today, I would also know exactly what happened in my life that day. Cyndie and I received the best anniversary present we could possibly imagine. Our son, Julian was born on our 7th anniversary. I like the fact that one of my favorite memories of that day, beyond seeing his face for the first time, involves our daughter, Elysa.

I had ventured from the hospital to pick her up and bring her to meet her brother. I bet Cyndie recalls who was taking care of her and what she was wearing, but those details, I didn’t retain. I remember that little 2-year-old girl in her car seat behind me, as I pulled up to a fast food drive-through menu to fill Cyndie’s one request. She needed a specific chicken sandwich from Arby’s that she couldn’t get from the hospital’s kitchen.

I had barely completed the sentence proclaiming my order for the sandwich to the faceless wall, when, without missing a beat, a tiny voice came from behind me… “And a coke!” Elysa knew what her mother would want.

Happy Birthday, Julian!

I’m so glad I don’t have to make any of this stuff up.












Written by johnwhays

September 19, 2015 at 6:00 am

8 Responses

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  1. I love that story! Happy anniversary, mom and dad! HBD, Julian!


    September 19, 2015 at 7:07 pm

  2. Happy Anniversary sweetheart! I fully expect to endure good natured ridicule in the future for ‘missing’ our anniversary this year. It’s about time we got evenšŸ˜ƒ Te quiero mi amor!


    September 19, 2015 at 9:29 am

  3. Happy Anniversary and happy birthday to your son! Time goes so fast


    September 19, 2015 at 8:36 am

  4. Happy Aniversary! All our love for both of you!


    September 19, 2015 at 6:35 am

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